You Found Me |Sam Winchester| [2015 Wattys Winner]

37. God Help Us

37. God Help Us

This game of tracking down Dean wasn't fun. Yeah, sure, it let me be alone with Sam, but I still wasn't back to my old self around him. I blamed Satan for that one-hundred percent. Sam was still very careful about what he did around me. Needless to say that our relationship was at a bit of a standstill. I had a feeling it'd get past this obstacle. I would say it was a minor hurdle, but being tricked into bed by Satan as he posed as your boyfriend wasn't a simple thing to get over.

Our little tracking game came about after our recent case involving the Whore of Babylon. When Dean had the opportune chance, he'd taken off in the Impala, leaving Sam and myself to tend to an injured Pastor Gideon at the time. But the biggest issue Sam and I had was our worries that Dean was considering saying yes to being Michael's vessel. He made it clear that he wasn't going to, but Sam and I didn't trust his words.

So now that's what led us to hunting down Dean to a motel. While on our trip, Sam had filled me in about a certain someone Dean had feelings for, a woman named Lisa Braeden. He suspected that was where Dean had run off to after the whole Whore of Babylon incident. I couldn't disagree with Sam on it, because I didn't know his older brother like he did.

We'd found Dean's hiding place thanks to the Impala. Before we even began to search, we did the logical thing of asking the clerk the room number. We walked side by side, eyes scanning for the room number. Out of habit, I reached for Sam's hand and grabbed it.

"It's been a while since you did that," he noted softly.

"The only way to counteract the trauma is with progress," I told him firmly. "I'm not going to let Lucifer decapacitate me in any way. He's not going to get an advantage over me again, and I'm not going to let him use me to hurt either of you, especially you, Sam."

Before long, we landed at the room number. The door was mostly closed, so all I did was prod the door, and it moved from my touch. We peeked in to confirm that Dean was in the room. He looked to be doing some packing with the big box on the bed. He taped up the box before I could even look at the contents and wrote a name on the box.

"Sending someone a candy-gram?" I broke the silence as I stepped into the room.

Dean acknowledged us with a rather pointed look. "How'd you find me?"

"You're going to kill yourself, right?" Sam asked. "It's not too hard to figure out the stops on the Farewell Tour. How's Lisa doing, anyways?"

"I'm not going to kill myself."

"No? So Michael's not about to make you his Muppet? What the hell, man? This is how it ends? You just...walk out?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"How could you do that?"

"How could I? All you've ever done is run away."

I could feel the stab from here even though it was meant for Sam. I kept a firm grip on his hand so I wouldn't do something stupid like cross over to Dean and slap him across the face.

"And I was wrong," Sam told his older brother. "Every single time I did. Just...please. Not now. Bobby is working on something."

"Oh, really? What?"

Sam and I looked at each other. If I had known he would say that, I would have tried to make up a case.

"You got nothing and you know it," Dean snapped.