Potter

Chapter 75

It was six days till May 1st.

One week till the battle.

It was one week till May 2nd.

One week till the war was supposed to be over.

And I was more than a little anxious.

Nightmares were a nightly thing, I'd find myself zoning out more than I was paying attention, and every time I looked at the face of Lavender Brown or Colin Creevey, I had an internal panic attack and had to excuse myself, going to hide out by the food table and clutch a glass of water until the tightness in my chest died down.

I wasn't ready. I kept telling myself there was no way I could possibly be ready anyway- War wasn't something one could count on preparing for- but all the same, I should be more ready than most people, and instead I just felt flustered. Unprepared. Waiting for the inevitable baddie to pull the rug out from under me and make me realize that all of this, all of these years, had been for nothing. That I had been here for nothing. 

That seemed self absorbed, of course, obviously I wasn't the only person involved in this war, but I was pretty damn sure I was the only person who had any idea of how it would end. How it was supposed to end.

Was I even living the same world anymore? Or had too much changed? Had I changed too much?

I told myself the answer was no. Everything would be fine.

It was good to talk to Neville in moments like that, let him reassure me. He, of all of us, was the most confident, the most sure that everything would turn out for the best, and if it didn't, then he knew we wouldn't stop fighting until it did. And he was right.

We would never stop fighting, not until we got to the ending we wanted.

And it was that mindset that kept me going.

"Lower your wand a little, Colin- Yes, the head is a good target, but you've got a better chance of hitting the chest. That's not an insult, Colin, that's common sense- Dueling isn't just standing in one place throwing spells at each other. You'll be moving." I instructed, having paused my friends in the middle of their practice to throw in some corrections. Colin rolled his eyes, but followed my instructions, adjusting his body right so that his wand was pointed at Ernie's chest. I smiled.

"Perfect. Just like that. Carry on, you two." I said, stepping back to avoid the stunning charm Ernie sent at Colin. Shaking my head, I retreated up to the map platform, where Neville and Blaise stood together, heads bowed over the map.

Since Blaise's awakening and informal induction into the D.A, he had quickly become an active member, giving advice on passageways that we wouldn't have thought of and techniques that most Death Eaters had that we could use to our advantage. 

"There's Dementors there- No small amount, from what we can tell." Neville was saying as I approached the trio. Blaise shrugged.

"Well, I'm assuming you lot have been practicing the Patronus charm."

"We have." Neville replied carefully. "But we don't want to bring a load full of students down there only to have them overwhelmed.

"Which is why we send a group of older students first to clear it out, then let the younger lot pass by." Blaise said pointedly, eyebrows raised. I took my opportunity to chime in.

"It's a good idea; We can send Colin, Holly and Nigel with them. Get them out of the school." I said, the idea bringing some hope to me; Maybe if I could get Colin out of here, with Nigel and Holly to watch him, he wouldn't come back. If he felt like he was doing something useful, maybe he wouldn't have to fight. Neville nodded slowly.