Potter

Chapter 39

Chapter 39

I sat by myself in the living room, curled up on the couch. Being that it was summer, no fire was lit, leaving me alone in the dark.

Fred and George had dropped me off about an hour ago, when everyone had already been in bed. I hadn’t bothered to check the time, but it was obviously late if even Sirius wasn’t up.

I was tired, but I couldn’t bring myself to sleep.

I let my head fall back on the couch as I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I missed Draco. And I felt so, so guilty. I had kissed Fred back after all. Of course, eventually I had come to realize what was actually happening, but I still kissed him. My actions weren’t reversible.

Fred, damn him, had made it seemed like it never happened once we met up with George again. But I still had that voice nagging at me in the back of my mind. I had no words to explain it, but I had that tight feeling in my chest, the one that made you know you had done something wrong.

I groaned quietly as I hung my head, letting my body slump forward with it until I was lying on the couch. I felt angry, frustrated and sad. I wanted Draco back- But I didn’t even know when he would come back, never mind the fact that he might not at all. The thought stung. But it was true. No one knew where Draco was. He could just be missing. Or he could be dead.

I tried not to dwell on it too much.

Letting out a soft sigh, I closed my eyes. Dreams were so much more forgiving than reality.

__

The next day was much of the same- Sirius had asked me what I’d been up to the night before, but it didn’t take him long to catch on to the fact that I didn’t want to talk about it.

I just wanted to go back to sleep.

However, Tonks had her wedding coming up, and she’d ask me to go shopping with her. I’d hate to cancel on her now. Besides, it would be good to have someone to talk to- to have another girl around. 

Getting dressed, I tucked the t-shirt into my shorts. I had snuck it out of Draco’s room, which, after his departure, had been left untouched. He’d left some of his clothes behind, so occasionally I’d sneak in and take my choice. 

“Lily?” A small knock came from my door, and looking over I watched as Caiden peeked inside, glasses askew on his face. “Can I talk to you?”

“Sure, Caiden.” I said, nodding towards the bed, watching as he moved across the room to sit on it. He was fussing slightly in his seat, frowning. I frowned, pausing in running the brush through my hair.

“What’s wrong?”

“Why can’t I do magic?”

Oh.

“I’m not sure I’m the best person to ask about that.”  I sighed, setting the hairbrush down. “Maybe Remus, or Sirius-?”

“They won’t tell me anything. I’ve asked. So- I mean, you couldn’t do magic before, but then you did. Is that what it’ll be like for me?”

“I... You know, this is a question better for Remus. I’d talk to him, alright?” I sighed, and Caiden, though still frowning, nodding. I felt bad for him, but this was a conversation I did not want to have- and I had to meet Tonks anyways. And I truly didn’t think I was the right person to explain to him.

“Alright, Lily.”  He sighed, and I smiled sympathetically, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

“Good boy. I’m gonna be out with Tonks, okay? Why not you go spend some time with Remus and Sirius.” I said, shutting the door behind me as we both walked out.