Grey Thorns

Chapter 64- Reality is not my life

I went up to an empty room and slam the door shut behind me. It echoed across the room and I found a corner and sat in it with my hands in my hair, rocking like a child. What can I do? Where can I turn? I was sobbing so hard I was shaking. No one found me until a few hours later. I went back downstairs and jumped when someone tapped my shoulder. It was Liam. I didn't know whether I should be mad at him or not. His features were softer so I was weary. He pulls my head into his chest and holds me here for a while. "We don't have to talk about it." he mumbles. "Only when you want to." he adds and I clutch his shirt and shake my head. "I'm your wife, have you forgotten that?" I plead and shake my head. I felt defeated and tired. "No." he shakes his head and I sigh and let go of him. "So when are we being sent out?" I ask annoyed. He swallows. "Tomorrow evening." he says and I stare at him for a moment before looking away and shaking my head. 

"Perfect." I mutter and cross my arms. He reaches up and touches my cheek. "Have you eaten?" he asks and I shrug. "Let's get you something." he says and tugs me over to a table with food. 

                                                                                      ***

I clung to him so tight, I was almost positive his arm was asleep. He didn't complain though. The bloody images filled my head the moment my eyes closed but this time, the images that Jamesworth sent me were included. Liam woke up cause I jumped up screaming. I woke up a lot of the other people sleeping in this dorm up too. The half awake, stared at me until Liam lazily sat up and pulled my back to his stomach. "Sh. It's okay." he whispers and I shake my head, my hands were still shaking on his arm around me. "No, it's not, Liam. I can promise you it's not." I mumble in a high cracking voice. He tightens his arm and kisses my shoulder. "We'll be okay." he says and I choose to keep my mouth shut.

It's not. I know it's not.

I glance over at Kurt's bunk and he was awake because of me of course. He glanced at me and stood up, making his way into the hallway. 

The next morning, I woke up and pulled on the familiar black clothes that we wore during my training. I hear the bed squeak and jump as I feel his lips against my cheek. "Gabriel says you're getting a makeover today." he mumbles and I turn my head slightly towards his chin. My feet dangled off the edge of the bed. "For why?" I ask and he pushes my hair away from my shoulder. "So the demons don't realize it's you." he says and I touch a lock of my hair. 

"What about you?" I ask and he chuckles against my neck. "I'm not the one they're after."  he says. The way he sounded pleasant saying that made me sick. "They'll come for you because they're expecting me to be with you. I keep trying to tell you that." I say irritated. 

"And I keep telling you to trust us. Now come on." he says and holds his hand down to mine. I take it with a reluctant sigh and stand up. He takes me down a long corridor and into a smaller room with a girl and Jamesworth. They smiled but I didn't smile back. "Ah. There's my child, how are we this morning?" he asks and Liam sits me in an uncomfortable chair. "Ask me after this is over." I mutter and Liam half smiles and shrugs at him. 

"I'll be down with Gabriel." he says and I raise an eyebrow. "Surprise." I say and he smirks. "Be nice to the stylist." he warns and I watch him leave before sending Jamesworth a look. "Let's begin." he says and the girl steps in front of me and tilts my chin up to inspect my face. "I'm Kendlyn." she says turning my face to the side and humming. "I know exactly what to do." she says more to herself and walks behind me to a table. Jamesworth was leaning on a table in front of me.

I hear the cutting of scissors on hair and try to relax. Different. I have to be different. She ended up dying it black and then gelling it up in a Mohawk. I wanted to scream but kept my mouth shut. I can't pull of short hair. "You can hate me later. Our purpose is to make you look like one of them." she says when she lets me look in the mirror. She walked over to grab a black liner and bent down to start working on my eyes. I watched in the mirror as she did so. She layered the top of my eyes with a thick line of black ink and a thinner line on top. The corner of my eyes ended with an upward curl. She rubbed foundation into my skin that made me look paler and then painted my lips a faint red.