Chapter 52-Will

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*Geek Boy*

Take it back.

Ellie had frozen. She was staring at me, her face blank.

Take it back.

Every cell in my body wanted me to take it back.

But I couldn't. I knew I couldn't.

Everything was stacked against us. My mom, her mom, her entire family...

And I wished could say protecting my mother was an important part of my decision, but I knew it wasn't.

Being with Ellie...it was everything to me.

But to her...I knew it wasn't the same. If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't have been humiliated in front of the entire school. If it wasn't for me, she would still be a cheerleader. If it wasn't for me, her mother wouldn't be at risk of losing her child.

For her, I was an interruption. I disrupted her life.

And she deserved better than that.

She deserved better than anything I could give her.

I love you.

"I'm sorry, Ellie," I said. "This won't work."

As I said the words, I could feel shackles clanging closed around my lungs.

Her hand fell from my face. My skin felt blisteringly cold.

I kept talking, but the words I was saying didn't register. It was as if I was watching this from afar—watching a train crash, completely powerless to stop it.

Life became a series of images:

I stopped talking.

She said something, her eyes blank. I didn't hear it over the sound of my heartbeat.

And then she was walking away.

The kind, brave, strong person. The girl who valued her friends. The girl who protected people who were weaker than her. The girl who never hated anyone. The girl who couldn't see how amazing she was.

The girl who had made the last seven years of my life worth living.

The girl I was in love with.

I watched Ellie Kent walk away.

And I did nothing.

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