If You Could Save Me, Would You

Chapter 24

My mind sprawled into 5,000 different directions. I eventually couldn't take it anymore, only so much TV and busy work could keep my mind off him.

Eventually I walked to my car and pulled out the photo book he made me. I found my way to my favorite chair and just pieced through it. The pictures from the stock shows and fairs, and the ones of me laughing way to hard at a joke he told while we were sitting in a tack pen. The captions sounded just like Grant, witty yet still silly.

I didn't know when I started crying but I could taste the salt on my lips. I kept turning through the pages until there was nothing to look at anymore. The last page caught my eye though, there were three little dots and below that it said "TO BE CONTINUED". That was when it all just hit me and I curled in a little ball and sobbed. I sobbed so hard that I had trouble catching my breath. I tried to control the sobs but I couldn't. It was like there was one big black endless pit in my stomach that sucked everything out of me expect for the sobs.

The sobbing lasted for another 30 minutes before I forced myself to keep it under control. I had to be strong for Grant and for his family. I quietly left the house and drove our 4 by 4 up to our barns. I quietly sat there next to by heifer, "Emma". Just being next to her calmed me down but the thing that hurt me the most is that we leave for the stock show in two days and Grant wouldn't be joining us. Then I noticed Grant and Jeff's heifers in the corner of the barn. Leon had set up a pen for them and luckily they had been barely hurt, only a few scratches here and there.

I sat in the barn for a few minutes before I left and decided to go to the hospital, again.

"Becca," Grant whispered when I turned the corner into his room. He sat up in bed and I ran to him and buried my head in his chest and neck and just cried. He only flinched a little bit but then he kissed my forehead and that made me cry just a little bit harder. I love him so so much. I didn't want to loose him and I knew exactly what I had to do.

It's been awhile since I updated, a long while but I'm back and hopefully start to update more often.

Have a great day and thanks for reading!!!!