Chapter Thirty-Seven

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Chapter Thirty-Seven 

Harry’s POV

I followed the dark corridor to Louis’ study, a spot where I knew I could have a few minutes to myself.  I clicked closed the double doors and sat down in the large leather chair behind the desk, my eyes scanning the bookshelves which were filled with more stupid knickknacks and picture frames than books. I’d known for a month that Louis would propose to Eleanor, but for some reason the happiness I felt for them was being overshadowed by my own self-pity. Or was it loathing?

I fucked up. All of these years, we’ve been careful to stay grounded, to stay normal. I didn’t let myself believe that I was different or privileged. But, reality carried on without me, and even though I didn’t realize it, I had gotten very used to having my way.  When was the last time someone had told me ‘no’? I couldn’t honestly recall.  I wanted Allie so badly. And I just expected to get her. Now that I’ve lost her…I’m just…reeling.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and typed her name onto the screen. I am surprised there aren’t divots in the plastic from the number of times I’d done it, failing to press the call button most times. Tonight was a special occasion. I closed my eyes as the line rang, hoping the words would just come to me once I heard her voice. “You’ve reached Allison Page…” She didn’t answer.  I didn’t hang up. The tone sounded and I took a breath. “Allison.” I said slowly. “Please.” Was all I managed before ending the call and shoving the phone back into my pocket.

Roxy’s POV

The sound of the waterfall in the garden wasn’t helping matters. I walked quickly toward the powder room to find the door closed, light spilling out from under it. “Shit.” I muttered. I shifted my weight back and forth between my feet, hoping to will away the urge to pee. It was no use. I went off toward the master suite, certain El and Lou wouldn’t mind. Their room was dark except for a lamp on the bedside table.  You could tell which side of the bed that Louis slept on, the floor next to it littered with magazines and notepads. Eleanor’s nightstand was perfectly arranged; a stack of novels with a photo of her and Louis on some random beach displayed on top, a small un-lit candle.

The sound of my heels echoed on the marble tile, as I hiked up my skirt and sat down, feeling instantly relieved.  The music from the yard was loud, which made me feel like I was peeing in the fanciest of nightclub bathrooms.  I washed up and tucked a few fly-away hairs back behind my ears before heading back out, now able to focus on getting Niall onto the dance floor for some slow jams. We’d see if I couldn’t convince him to make it an early night.

“Oh! Hey Harry.” I said, surprised to see him as I stepped out of the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the bed.  “It’s all yours.” I smiled.

“Thanks.” He said softly. He didn’t get up.  His elbows rested on his thighs as he hunched over slightly, his hands clasped together. I thought I may have interrupted him.

Harry’s POV

“Everything okay?” She said quietly, taking a step back away from the door and toward me. I twisted my watch around on my wrist before forcing a smile and looking up at her.

“Yeah, Rox. I’m good.” I said. “You all right?”  She nodded. I pushed up off my knees and stood. “Better get back out there, then.” I moved toward the door but she stepped into my path.

“Harry.” She said. Her eyes were looking right through me. “Come on.”

I took another step toward the exit. I’d put off this conversation with everyone else, and I didn’t intend to have it with her tonight. She didn’t budge, and placed her palm flat against my chest. “What’s going on?” she said, the concern in her voice growing stronger with each unanswered question. She quickly closed the door and turned back toward me, folding her arms.

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