ME AND YOU? || johnnie guilbert x female reader

chapther 32 - talk

the next morning Johnnie woke me up, surprisingly because it's usually me who wakes him up.
We had no plans today either and Jake was still in New York.

We are both still curled up against each other in bed, appreciating the comfort of each other. I thought about yesterday when Johnnie told me he was stressed and kept zoning out all the time, he never does that, especially not when he is with me and we're having a great time.
"Johnnie..?" I say, breaking the comforting silence between us.
"Yeah?" He replies and moves a bit of my hair out of my face.
"Are you.. Doing okay?" I gently ask, trying to sound as comforting as I can. Johnnie goes quiet and looks like he is thinking a good answer to come around my question.
"I'm worried about you, you were zoning out so much yesterday and was feeling pretty down" I explain, carefully tracing my fingers over his hand tattoos.
"It's just a lot of pressure right now" he finally admits.
"Tell me about it, Johnnie. I promise I won't view you as weak or anything for talking to me" I say, still tracing his tattoos with my fingers.
"It's just so much work with YouTube and making music and then it's the full Tara thing and everything is just too much for me" he admits and it looks like he really hates talking about this.
"I get it Johnnie, I get that this is cancelling to talk about but please tell me about it, I wanna help you just as much as I can" I add.
"I don't think you can help much, y/n. I just wish I could take some weight of my shoulders so I could just live my life and not constantly need to update Instagram or edit a video or do something else, it feels like I'm trapped behind a screen" he tells me and looks to breath out after he spoke, like he really needed to tell me this.
"Maybe you should take a break from the internet? Just a week or two? I think it will be good for you" I suggest.
"I really should, but then I'll need to film that video, edit it and post it and I don't even want to do that" Johnnie admits.
"Hey, you just film the video and me or Jake can edit it and post it on your channel for you?" I suggest again and Johnnie agrees.
"Is there more you'd like to talk about? I'm all ears" I say, I wanted him to really open up when we are anyways on the track.

Johnnie nods and he starts talking about how scared he is to turn out like he were before, as depressed and suicidal he has been earlier in his life. I mostly sit and listen to him and add something nice in between his sentence or hold his hand extra tight.
I think he can see in my eyes how it hurts me to see him like this, struggling.

A tear drops from his cheek and he quickly wipes it off.
Tears start streaming down his face and he tries to stop them but they won't.
"Don't look at me, I look so weak" he says, with a slight of disgust in his voice.
"You're not weak for crying, come here" I say, opening my arms and wrapping my arms around his head that's resting on my chest as he cries.
"It's okay, it's okay, I'm here" I comfort him, I'm genuinely happy we can be emotional in front of each other, even though Johnnie seems to hate it.

-

Around an hour passes and we're out of bed, at almost 3pm.
We have decided to cook food together, meaning I will cook everything and Johnnie will stand and watch me do everything because he can't cook but that's fine. It's a romantic thought but not very romantic in real life lol.

"What do you wanna make then?" I ask. "I'll let you choose it and then I will cook!!" I joke.
"Mac n cheese?" Johnnie asks.
"That sounds great, we have all the ingredients yeah?" I ask, looking through every cabinet and drawer in the kitchen to find everything.

A few minutes later and a bit of Johnnie's help we got everything we needed.

We got to cooking and I did the most, Johnnie just watched me and stood behind me like some lifeguard lol.
Also he ate most of the ingredients and then spat them out yelling that it was gross, no shit raw macaroni is gross?

-

We finished the food we cooked, it was pretty good except I added way too much cheese and not enough macaroni but whatever.

"What do we do now? It's so lonely without my husband Jake" Johnnie jokes and jumps onto the couch.
"Real, we miss our pookie Jake" I joke back, it mostly wasn't a joke because we do miss him, kinda.
"we could take a walk at the beach?" I suggest, it's the end of summer but it's still pretty nice weather, even at night.
"I'm emo I can't walk" Johnnie jokes. "Yeah sure we could though" he says after his joke.
"Get your shoes then" I demand.

We get our shoes on and leave the house.
As we walked towards the beach we held hands and honestly was pretty cringe but I've never been this happy with us.

We arrived at the beach and walked by the water, a few meters away from the waves, crippling up onto the sand.
"I love you y/n" Johnnie suddenly says.
"I love you too, Johnnie" I say back, squeezing his hand tighter.

We kept walking for another few minutes but decided to go home pretty quick after because it was getting pretty chilly outside.

-

When we arrived home it was already dark outside and we were so tired, which was pretty lame because we only walked for like thirty minutes and we were all exhausted. That proves we really don't go out. Lol.

"I need to stream tonight, I'm sorry baby" Johnnie says as I crawl into bed, hoping he would lay down next to me.
"Awhhh okay, I'll try to sleep though" I say, covering my body with the blanket.

I listened to Johnnie's soft voice, talking to his camera.
"I need to be quiet because y/n is sleeping like right here so yeah" he says, looking over at me but I'm pretending to be asleep.

Johnnie keeps yapping and playing his guitar, quietly.
I fell asleep to the sound of Johnnie's singing across the room.

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HIIII🌸

I'm trying to do more „romantic" chapters because it's been so much drama lately and more will come so yeahhhh!!
I KINDA like this chapter I don't even know lol

Wordcount: 1141
// author 🌸