More Shit

And Like A Blade You'll Stain

I tried explaining how I feel about My Chem to my mom.

She doesn't get it🙄

She keeps telling me that it's a "choice" to be depressed or not when by now she knows I'm mentally unstable.

Like damn I think we established that fact when I was 12 and cut myself, then when I was 13 and started cutting myself again and starving myself and taping my thighs.

I feel like we've already eStaBlIshDd that?

But now of course she's concerned what other people think of me for wearing all black and standing over in the corner during social events.

I tried to explain to her that I don't cut myself anymore (which was a fatass lie ik), I don't tape myself anymore, and I don't starve myself anymore.

She didn't quote seem to understand the last part, she still things I have anorexia and it's really annoying.

I don't do half the shit I used to.

I used to tape my thighs and shred my wrists and I'd bring a piece of paper with me every where I'd go so I could count my calories. I tried staying under 900 each day, and I thought that if I ate more than 900, I'd become a lard ass.

Now I try staying under 1,000 calories. Yes, it's still not healthy but it's better than I WAS.

I don't shred my wrist anymore, I shred my legs.
I don't starve myself half as bad as I did before.

Yes I'll wake up at 3 AM starving my ass off but whatever.

I don't care.