if only you knew

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 6

seungkwan wasn't wallowing at home. he was not. 

was he listening to depressing songs about heartbreak? yes. was he doing that cheesy thing you see in movies where you watch a heartbroken protagonist eat a tub of ice cream and cry? minus the crying, yes. was he disregarding mingyu's numerous calls and texts? yes. was he pretending to be sick or busy with work whenever wonwoo asked him to hang out with them? yes and yes. 

but, he was not wallowing. 

a small part of seungkwan was beating himself up for waiting too long to confess to wonwoo. but when he thought about the new couple, he felt anger surge through him. he couldn't get the thought out of his head that mingyu was only with wonwoo out of pity. despite that, seungkwan also felt aggravated at himself for never noticing that wonwoo liked mingyu. 

how could i have let that detail go unnoticed for so long? 

and when seungkwan thought back, he should have noticed. the way wonwoo would treat the two of them like they were something so precious, but it was always something different when it came to mingyu. wonwoo was always more gentle, more thoughtful, more open to whatever mingyu suggested. wonwoo always wanted to bring mingyu with them everywhere, even when seungkwan was hoping to spend some time alone with wonwoo. wonwoo would always bring mingyu into the conversation, even if mingyu wasn't relevant to the topic. wonwoo was always touching mingyu's arm and playing with his own hair. wonwoo was always trying to initiate contact with mingyu. wonwoo always leaned in a little too close when mingyu was speaking.

these were things seungkwan did with and for wonwoo.

i really should have seen it coming.

but seungkwan didn't want to beat himself up any longer over what happened. a week had passed since then, since wonwoo told seungkwan he and mingyu were dating. a week since mingyu found out seungkwan liked wonwoo. a week since their friends congratulated the new couple. a week since they baked cookies in seungkwan's apartment.

god. the cookie date.

seungkwan knew he shouldn't have invited them over, and even having seokmin as a buffer didn't work out in his favor. having to watch the new couple be extremely affectionate with each other as they baked cookies, which seungkwan never assumed was a romantic activity, made the youngest feel like he was drowning. and even though seokmin was trying to keep the hang out as friendly as possible for the four of them, he would loudly coo whenever mingyu would hug wonwoo from behind and wonwoo would blush profusely. and, because seungkwan is a severely unlucky person, when wonwoo put flour on mingyu's nose, mingyu just had do that cheesy romcom thing and start a flour fight with his boyfriend. when seokmin joined in, that's when all hell broke loose.

seungkwan just stood in the middle of it, shoulders slumped as his friends threw flour and eggs at each other. so when it was over and the (flour) dust had settled, none of seungkwan's older friends were surprised when he was visibly annoyed. they made a mess in his kitchen, so while the cookies were in the oven, the three of them offered to clean the kitchen while seungkwan took a shower. 

"don't sit on my couch!" seungkwan remembered shouting as he went to his room, assuming one of his friends would have sat down on the couch that was already hard to clean without the accompaniment of flour and eggs.

seungkwan was in the shower longer than he expected to be. the boy was deep in thought as he washed the baking ingredients off of his body and out of his hair, deeply regretting his decision to invite his friends – more specifically, the couple – to make cookies. cookies. he didn't know how to bake, nor has he ever had the urge to bake. he just wanted some homemade cookies, and he was planning on inviting wonwoo and mingyu over. of course, this was before the news of them dating came out.