DISTRESS

CHAPTER 22

This is the first time I did something like going to her office without being called only to fail miserably. A teacher came out of her office and told me that she's too busy so she can't meet me. I'm not that effortless and uncaring to give up right away after the first attempt so I stupidly tried the second time only to have the same disappointing result. We were fine then which confused me as to why do I feel like she's slowly drifting away from me now and what hurts more is I don't even have the slightest idea why this is happening.

I even used the phone she gave me for the very first time to call and text her hoping to hear her voice or at least receive a reply from her but both are left unanswered. I was so annoyed and furious at this point that I almost threw the phone away. It's better to throw this when it won't be of any use for me at all but in the end all I did was grip the phone tightly before shoving in back in my bag.

The following day I gave another try and supposedly it's going to be my last try. However before I can even go to her office Miss Carmel made an announcement that the principal won't be in school for a couple of days due to an emergency. The remaining hope I have left finally crumbled to dust. Something must've happened between her and her husband that's why she temporarily left school. It made me think that maybe it had something to do with me as well. What if I caused a rift between their marriage? What if she and her husband had a nasty argument? In the end I came up with a conclusion that maybe this is a sign for me to give up on her...for good.

I clenched my teeth, feeling my stomach and side throb. It kept hurting even when Raven took over. This is somehow way more painful than the beatings back then. I tried rubbing it hoping to ease the pain and thankfully it did though it didn't disappear completely. The pain and throbbing still lingered but it's not that painful anymore at least for now. This only boiled my anger even more.

My mind is occupied with nothing but worry, anger and sadness until the day ended. I feel so messed up that I can't even focus with anything at all. Not even with my work. I kept messing up like my head is in the clouds. I feel even more awful since none of them even tried to scold me for the mistakes I made instead they just simply let it slide like it was nothing.

Since I wasn't in the right state of mind, the manager suggested I take a break and rest in the locker room. Hoping for me to recover and hopefully focus back on my work.

"Why I'm I like this?" I sighed running my hands over my face. Why am I letting this bother me so much? I thought I said I will give up on her yet why is she all I could think of. Maybe because I want things to clear up just so I could move on. I really am selfish. I'm only thinking about myself.

How can I not when it's one of the things that made me who I am now. I survived this long out of selfishness.

I fished the keychain out of my pocket and slowly run my fingers over it. I stared at the replica of the painting of the american robin for quite some time. Should I just throw this away along with the phone she gave me? Even if that's the only solution in order for me to move on, I don't think I would want to do that. I let out another deep sigh as I grip the keychain. When I opened my hand the keychain is facing downwards and that's when I noticed the letters D and L engraved in the back of the keychain. I'm guessing it was our initials. Instead of feeling happy all I felt is frustration. This still won't change anything, I told myself as I put it back in my pocket.

A knock on the door followed by the opening and closing of the door caught my attention. It was assistant manager. "I just thought I should check on you"

"Unfortunately as you can see I'm still alive" I replied with a bit of sarcasm.

Her eyebrows furrowed, not even slightly impressed with my response. "It seems that treating people harshly is your way of hiding your pain"

My body flinched a bit from her spot-on comment. "I'm fine" I lied looking away.

"I can see that" she said going along with my lies. "I hope you won't mind if I take a sit" she added taking a sit but instead of sitting right beside me she sat with her back facing me.

"What are you planning to do?" I asked curiously.

She shrugged "nothing, I just thought you needed some company. You don't have to tell me anything. I just want you to know that you're not alone"

Does she really mean all that? Somehow her words gave me a sense of relief. Is it really okay for me to rely on them? Maybe they are different from the principal. This made me think about the principal again making my heart clench in pain.

"Liar" I murmured though I'm sure she heard that.

"You really have so much on your shoulders" I pursed my lips feeling a lump slowly starting to form in my throat. "It wouldn't hurt letting some of it out" she added and that made the tears I've been trying to hold started to fall.

My forehead rested on her back as my body slowly shook and my tears falling uncontrollably down my cheeks. "I-" I couldn't say another word since all that left my mouth are sobs. My body warmed a bit and I knew Raven is trying to comfort me as well. I want to say something, to let my feelings known but no words seemed to form out of my mouth. So instead of forcing my feelings out through words I decided to let it all out by crying the tears that were hidden in the depths of my soul for a long time. Everything seemed to have rushed out of my body, leaving me lightheaded and a crying mess. I've never cried this much since my mother and sister died. It hurts in the chest for holding it too long but at the same time I felt lighter after letting it all out. Like it somehow eased my messed up feelings.

After what felt like endless hours of crying, I finally stopped. "I'm sorry" I said in a hoarse voice, seeing how wet assistant manager's clothes is. Good thing it wasn't that visible since it's black.

She turned around and look at me with gentle eyes. "No need to be sorry. I'm glad I could help" she said ruffling my hair. "Do you feel a little better now?" she added and all I did was nod shyly.

Then something or should I say someone caught my eyes. I was too caught up with the moment a while ago that I didn't notice manager who is looking intently at us along with the twins who are staring at us with teary eyes.

"I could've done something for you if only I've known how difficult your situation had become at this point" the manager said. "What if we just adopt you instead. Wouldn't that be a lot better?" she added not even thinking twice.

"We can be your big sisters" the twins blurted out excitedly.

"Cielle and I can be your parents" manager offered in a really carefree manner even assistant manager nodded her head in agreement which is something I didn't expect her to agree on.

"What are you all talking about?" I asked wiping the tears off my face. "That doesn't even sound like a joke anymore"

"It wasn't a joke to begin with. We won't hesitate to adopt you if you're okay with it. We can be your new family" the seriousness of manager's face and words made it impossible for me take this simply as empty words.

As much as I appreciate their sincere offer, I don't think I can accept it. They've done so much already and I won't dare ask for more. I'm just simply happy to know that I still have them other than Raven. I might've made a mistake hoping for more from the principal but I wasn't wrong for trusting these people. I didn't regret taking their hands that were reaching out to me all this time.

I shook my head "thank you for all the help but I'm afraid going so far as to adopt me is a little bit too much"

They quickly shook their head back in unison that I almost broke out in a smile. "I don't think so" manager said.

"I couldn't agree more" assistant manager added nodding her head at manager.

"I think it's the greatest idea ever if you ask me" Nina commented, nudging Mina with her elbow.

"Absolutely" Mina agreed almost immediately.

"You're all impossible" I shook my head in amusement, a tiny smile finally breaking out of my lips.

Seeing that I'm no longer tense the twins didn't hesitate to wrap me in their arms. Manager and assistant manager shared a look before facing us with bright smiles in their lips.