Broken Soul

Part 31

"Sofia, I need your help. I kind of need to come in late a bit tomorrow. I'll pick up twilight duty." Alex starts as soon as he heard Sofia voice over the phone. "Yeah sure, everything's okay?" She asks concerned that Alex suddenly wanted to do twilight duty. He used to hate doing twilight considering he would be staying in hospital till midnight, hence the word twilight. "Uhm, yeah. Henry had another episode. I can't leave him till my parents got here from Texas."

He could almost here the pity coming from Sofia's voice but she didn't say much only that she knows Henry would be fine later, hopefully. "Wait, does Henry triggered because of us finding out?" She asks and Alex could feel how guilty she felt over the fact their accidental finding out about this. "No, no it's not that. It's kind of complicated. I'll tell you when I see you." Alex told her and she settled before they both say goodbye and Alex pressed his lips together.

He went back to the living room and found Henry is no longer on the couch anymore and he panicked. "Henry?" He called but couldn't find him anywhere. He tried the bedroom and the bathroom and he isn't there. He gripped his curly hair in his fist feeling his chest is burning in fire and his mouth is dry from breathing heavily. Only then he saw the balcony slightly opened and it rattles after a wind hit. He sprinted to the balcony to find Henry in the middle of the snow barefooted and barely had any protection on his body for warmth.

"Hen, what are you doing? It's freezing." Alex called and he can see Henry is looking up to the sky feeling the snow drop on his face. Alex can see he had been here a while considering his blonde hair is already covered with snow. His pale skin had turned shades whiter with his lips almost blue and his hands are literally shaking.

"Henry!" Alex called him again since he didn't answer Alex first question and Alex can see he is lost in his own memories over the balcony and his heart shatters when Henry finally looked at him with his eyes red with tears. "I can't do this Alex. I don't belong here." Henry says and Alex didn't exactly understood him. "Hen, don't. Please don't think like that. Come back to me." Alex hold out his palm over Henry and he only stares at it. "It will get better. I promise Henry, please baby. Come back to me." Alex can feel his tears starts pooling seeing Henry like this.

"It will be better when I'm gone. You will be better when I'm not here. You don't have to worry about me anymore." Henry continued and Alex tried to step further but he took a few step back and starts climbing the rails before Alex pulled his shirt back and they both fell on the ground covered snow. "Get off me!" Henry tried to push Alex off of his body but Alex is a lot stronger than he is, he won't let Henry overtook him. Alex was straddling him trying to stop Henry from killing himself but Henry's mind seems elsewhere.

"Henry stop! Listen to me! Look at me!" Alex tried to fight off his wrist pushing and punching Alex's chest over and over. "Get off me Jack! Get off me!" It hits Alex, Henry thought he was someone else. "Hen, babe. Look at me. It's me, it's Alex." Alex tried to fight Henry's arm pushing him away from his body but surprisingly for him, Henry fought harder.

"HENRY! Look at me!" Alex had it, he took both of Henry's head in his hand and forced him to look into his eyes. When Henry's eyes finally locked into Alex, only then Alex can see the sudden realization in his. The way his gaze soften upon seeing Alex almost as if he hasn't seen him in weeks, his mouth fell apart with his tears starts to fall on his temple. "A-Alex." He whispered.

"Come back baby, come back to me." Alex told him and he can finally get Henry to calm down when their hands tangled and Henry sat up from the cold floor. "I'm right here, you're safe. There is no one going to hurt you anymore." Alex stroked his cheek with his thumb and Henry's tears fell when he closed his eyes and he inhaled a breath.

"P-Please. Let me go." Henry whimpered before he leaned against Alex's chest and he hugged him tight in his embrace. "Not today Henry." He whispered before he carried Henry off the floor and back inside the apartment. He closed the balcony door locking it wishing he could find a chain and never letting anyone including Henry to open it ever again.

He took Henry into the bedroom stripping him off his wet clothes and changed him. He grabbed Henry's clothes from the wardrobe and brought it back to him in the bathroom. Henry sat on the toilet seat hugging his shivering body when he saw Alex brought his clothes to him. He took it from him, and put on the shirt above his head and his sweatpants on right after. Alex took a towel from the hanging rod by the wall before he ruffled Henry's hair trying to dry his wet hair from the snow earlier.

Henry pulled the towel from his head and tossed it over the sink before he went back the bedroom and left Alex by his own in the bathroom. Alex sighed not knowing what he should do to fix this. For once Alex wished Henry could see it, that his life was a whole lot better when Henry is in it.

Alex woke up the next morning finding Henry side of the bed is empty. He jolted up feeling the rush in his heart and immediately ran to the living room. Henry isn't here, he isn't anywhere in the apartment and Alex looked everywhere for him. He went back into the bedroom and looked in the bathroom to find him but Henry isn't there. Alex was frantic, he was clueless and he didn't know where Henry is right now.

He walked int to the bedroom again trying to find his phone before his eyes landed on the piece of paper underneath his phone. He recognized the handwriting, it was Henry. Next to it was his ring, the one Alex had proposed to him. His heart dropped when he grabbed the ring and the letter with his shaky hands. He flipped it open and revealed Henry's hand written letters and his heart beats faster before he even began to read it.

Dear Alex,

Forgive me for doing this, but I can't live another day seeing how much I have hurt you. I was weak. I never thought that I could find love in this life. I was ready to leave this world before I met you. But I can't let you live like this with me, constantly in fear, worrying about me. I can't be selfish by stealing away your happiness in this world. You deserved a lot better than I did. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. The only thing in this world that I had to call a family. I love you so much, and I will love you even when we are no longer together. Don't be angry with yourself, especially for what I have done. But know this Alex, there is nothing that you could have done to change this. So don't blame yourself Alex for what you could have done for us. I was happy when I was with you. I'm just not happy with myself. My life is a constant pain and my past is standing in between our happiness. I can't let it ruined yours as much as it ruined mine. Forgive me Alex, for everything. I hope you find another love in this life as consuming as this. I love you always and forever. 

Henry