𝐷𝑒́𝑝𝑎𝑦𝑠𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡「LCF x MDZS」

Chapter 98 - 『Don't Die, Survive』

The last time he spoke to Nie Mingjue, it didn't end well.

Nie Mingjue is more of an acquaintance to him rather than a friend, considering he is Nie Huaisang's older brother and the man has nothing to do with him.

Yes, he was thankful when he and Alver was allowed to hide in Qinghe away from the Wens and offered them refuge. But that was it.

And when Nie Mingjue was one of the core members who participated in the siege against Wei Ying, his impression of him only further deteriorated.

So when Nie Huaisang had called him at night when he was about to go to sleep, Cale cursed out loud in the dark room he is in.

What now, where is that buff and angry man that is similar to Tunka go?

How is it so easy for that big guy to be in the brink of qi deviating?

"What will you do, gege?"

When Cale looks at Xue Yang, he immediately averts his eyes then.

"I don't see the need to help him."

He shrugs away the guilt that was slowly starting to gnaw him inside.

He does not want to associate himself with the outside world any more longer.

"It was Jin Guangyao."

The moment he heard that name come out from Xue Yang, the redhead stilled.

"Gusu Lan have a purification music used to cleanse one's mind and soul. But he altered it to bring destruction to one's qi and meridians."

The guilt is slowly becoming visible in Cale's chest, a look of conflict flittered in his face.

"Why are you saying all of this only now?"

Cale had not meant to scowl at the younger, but he did.

"I..."

Xue Yang seemed to hesitate for a while when he saw the older's face, wondering if it's alright to impose his thoughts to someone like the redhead.

"I don't want you to regret again, gege."

Cale's scowl disappeared, showing a surprised expression then.

"When did I ever regret?"

The redhead asks, denying all the words of accusations he's receiving from the younger.

"...Back then, until the present, even now. Your face may not show anything most of the time, but your eyes do."

Eyes are the window of the soul, that phrase is true even for someone like Cale.

He wants to deny it all, but Cale found it hard to do so.

"...Leave."

He does not want to acknowledge those words at all.

Xue Yang stood still and stared at him for a long time.

Just then, he brings out a pile of paper and gave it to the older.

"What is this now?"

Cale does not have the choice but to hold it and look at the younger man.

"An autobiography? No...it's closer to a diary. Read it now or later, it's all up to you."

The redhead wonders who is the owner of it.

"Then, please excuse me. I will be waiting outside if you ever changed your mind."

Cale wants to tel him that he won't change his mind and never will, but he found it hard to speak out.

He wonders if his ignorance against Nie Mingjue is justified by his reasons.