And then he stopped. Shane leaned his forehead against mine, breathing heavily, our eyes still closed, and he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Astra," he mumbled against my lips. "Please don't hurt yourself."
And all at once, his body fell l...
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C H A P T E R S E V E N T Y - F O U R
A s t r a *.✧
It's funny how your opinion on things and life could change so quickly. Because although Shane and I rarely saw each other around nowadays, the few time we did involved a lot of kissing. And making out.
The very dustbin area behind the school that I'd once hated with a passion, AKA make out area was just where Shane and I happened to be. With his tongue somewhere in my throat.
It felt… nice, sure, but it wasn't passionate or genuine. Our first kiss, for instance, was filled with genuine raw passion, two people who were so obsessed with each other that they just wanted to be together. But now? Now it's like doing something for the sake of it, because you're bored.
I did like him. A lot. But it was the fact that he was so distant during our makeout sessions that had a dark pit in my stomach open up and the feeling to delve into something deep and never emerge.
"Can I walk you to class?" His forehead was pressed against mine, both of us breathing heavily.
A smile pulled at my lips. I think he did still care, even a little bit. Or maybe I'm just shit at figuring out others' true feelings because I overthink until it morphs into something completely different.
"If you have nothing better to do."
"Nothing in the world could compare spending time with you," he pulled back and ran his hands through his hair. My eyes couldn't resist following his thin wrist as his hand moved. His collarbone that stuck out as he swallowed.
I wanted to cry.
He wrapped his arm around my waist, keeping me close to him as we walked through the busy corridors. He laughed and told me about some new movie that had come out that he'd watched last night and I smiled and nodded and laughed at all the right bits, moulding into what would have been the perfect image of a good girlfriend. Except I wasn't even that because he hadn't even asked me properly. Like he literally just walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to make out and hang out.
I looked up at him and observed him for a few moments. He looked cute as he smiled and laughed but his eyes were hollow and empty. Blank and lifeless.
We stopped outside my class and he spun me around and pecked my lips again before heading off with a smile and a wave. A permanent grin seemed to be etched upon his face and a small one came upon mine. I'm happy I could make him so happy but…
After that incident, I didn't see him or really engage with him for a long while. I was busy with schoolwork and trying to make sure I graduated with an honours role while he was busy training for soccer or something. I became so engrossed in schoolwork and reading it was like a newfound coping habit, and slowly, very slowly, the scars on my arms had begun to fade.
