CHAINED UP || J.JK × Reader

Chapter 13 | My girl

"I love you," I confess, fearing he could never hear it. Whether he feels the same way or not, I need to tell him. After what happened this morning, I feel like I cannot wait anymore.

He does not verbally react but glides his hand down to my wrist and grips it, and his heart beats against my hand at a faster pace. This long moment with nothing but eye contact lingers, the silence in the room sounding oddly loud.

"It's not love...I'm just pitiful-"

"It is love. Don't say that or discredit what I said. I know what I'm feeling," I take my hand off of his skin. "I wouldn't have felt on the verge of dying when I thought you were gone if it wasn't love, I wouldn't be thinking about you all the time, I wouldn't want to spend every day with you, need to talk to you, to have your opinion on everything I do, to hear your voice...You make me feel in a way that no one ever did," I let the words flow out of my mouth without hiding my feelings.

This is too late now. This would be useless to not tell all the truth.

"You know you're going to suffer with me..." he puts his warm hand back over mine and holds it. "Don't think for me. I just want to know if you like me back or not."

He does not release his grip on my hand but remains quiet for a few seconds, which feel longer than they should.

Without ever giving me an answer, he bends over and locks lips with me, causing some incredible butterflies inside my stomach and chest. Feeling that it is not just a peck, I tilt my head up and do my best to kiss him back, and I feel his hand leave mine to end on the side of my face.

While holding it, he passionately kisses me, turning my entire inside upside down and shivering my skin. His soft and plump lips getting squeezed against mine, embracing them, my heart gradually goes harder against my ribs, and he drifts his hand down to my throat. I unconsciously clench my thighs when he cups it, and he breaks the kiss.

Our lips touching, I cannot open my eyes yet, still feeling overwhelmed, still not believing it is real. "I'm scared of what I feel for you..." he whispers in my mouth, and I look at him but fall right into his deep and shiny stare. "You made me fall in love so quickly...I cannot stop thinking about you either...and I'm so scared..."

"I'm not like her. I won't hurt you," I give him my word, hoping for him to realize I will not make him go through the same ever again.

"But I know I'll hurt you at some point. Have you seen the state you were in because of me? I don't want you to feel that way again just because I'm going through some shit all the time and that I'm unable to get out of it," he seems to be thinking of me more than himself. "I'm willing to go through it with you. I want to be there and help you, no matter what it takes. I promise I'd do anything to see you happy and healthy. I'd rather get hurt and cry while being by your side than the opposite. I swear."

"But I hate to cause you pain," he lifts one thumb up to my chin. "You don't cause me pain. You make me happy, you help me feel more confident, you always make me smile, you brighten up my mood whenever I don't feel good, and more than that."

He gazes down at my lips and brushes his thumb over them. "Let's not say 'love' yet. We like each other. Alright?" he asks as if he was afraid of the word, the meaning, and what memories it must bring back. "I like you," I understand and uses this word instead, and he smiles but seems pained, nonetheless.

"I like you too," he pecks my lips for the last time and passes one arm under my head to pull me closer to his body. "Sleep tight."

"You do too, but not too tight," I put my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest. He slightly chuckles, even though this was not a joke, and he pats my head, constantly, which soothes me and slows my heartbeat down.