fifty

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He woke up the next morning in cold sweats, his head pounding and his heart absolutely racing, "Oh my god.." he mumbled as he sat upright, looking across to the bedside table clock that displayed the time 4:38 am.

He reached his arm out to his left, the bed cold and empty which only added to his heartache, "Olivia? Baby? Liv?"He called out, over and over again his voice pained.

He climbed out of bed, ignoring the cold air of New York which wasn't what he was used to, the apartment he had rented was a comfortable size and had an amazing view of the city buildings and the sky line, but it wasn't beautiful enough to distract him from what had happened.

He walked out of the bedroom, hand on his heart as he absentmindedly turned the lights on to the kitchenette, "Max? What are you doing up it's half four?" Olivia asked him, scoffing down a donut she had found somewhere.

"Oh my god Olivia-," his voice strained "I had the worst dream and- well it was more of a nightmare."

I sighed at him, reaching my arms out wide to envelop him in a hug, he'd always had awful dreams when we weren't in Monaco but hesitated to tell me why, "What was this one about? Was it your dad?" I asked reaching out to him.

"N-no I don't want to talk about it. You uh, you- yeah no I don't want to talk about it." He repeated, waking up in tears to the idea of her not even being alive was enough, he didn't need it rehashed, "But you're always letting me drive you from now on okay?"

I nodded quickly, trying to distract him from the bad thoughts, "Okay, are you ready to go back to sleep or are you going to eat all of my snacks?"

He scoffed, "You're one to talk. The donuts are supposed to go in your mouth, not on your shirt."

The side of my lips lift as I brush the crumbs off of my pyjama shirt, I can't help but notice how his ridges of muscle shift from the movement as he also helps me to remove the crumbs. His arms flex drawing my attention to his forearms-

"You missed a spot." He points out to my mouth, trying to show me where some powder lingers, he inches closer to me as I reply "Be a good boyfriend and help me out."

Our lips press together, he could walk away and tell me to find a mirror but he wouldn't do that to me max is different to Adam. He lifts his hand up to my face and uses his thumb to clean the corner of my mouth, my eyes track his every move and three seconds feels like three minutes.

"Truth or dare?" He asks out of nowhere.

"Um.. truth. Brave people always pick truth." I grinned to him, the whole topic of discussion was random but then again once he's had a bad nightmare he is never okay immediately afterwards. I'd learnt that the hard way.

"Is it true that you will always be mine? Like forever? Because, to be honest, I don't think I can ever lose you Liv.." he admits and lowers his mouth to mine once again, his warm breath ticking my skin.

"It's a truth. And sometimes, when you piss me off it's a dare. But it's my life and you're apart of it, always and forever." I told him, smiling gently. I think this is the first time his nightmare had ever been about me and I dreaded to think what it was about. Clearly the upcoming fashion show stress was getting to everyone.

"Always and forever." He repeats confidently looking to the makeshift matching string rings they both wore, even in their pyjamas, they never came off.

"I never thought I'd end up with you," I admitted to him "Even with Adam I was so content with the idea of being alone for the rest of my life, but you want to know what I am now?"

"Go on."

"I'm more than fucking happy Max," I tiptoed upwards to his height "Thank you for making me so happy everyday."

We kiss suddenly, an I love you and thank you on my lips that's beyond what words can speak. His infectious smile rises against my lips. Mine grows as in step with my boyfriend. And I then vow, "Wherever you go I'll go, and as long as I'm alive that will never ever change.. especially if you're driving me."

"I love you Olivia Marina Ricciardo."

"Let's go back to bed okay?"

"Okay."

Love was a materialistic being. It never said I'm sorry or kissed my bruises but love bought me a new phone and bought me houses. Love couldn't come and see me for my birthday but love gave me a envelope full of cash.

So maybe you can understand that when max had spent hours making me a playlist and read my favourite book, when he held me under the stars and told me it was okay. I didn't know that love could be that way.

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