doctor, why so cold?

24

I'll be good - James Young

"Harry?" Louis mumbled when he got up from their bed.
It was saturday and they were about to spend the whole weekend at home.
Some days were better and some days were worse. Harry didn't have any energy on that saturday morning.

"I thought we could do something. Leave the city for a day." Louis spoke his thoughts.
Harry didn't answer, he kept just lying down and staring somewhere.

All of sudden Louis' phone began to ring. He got up to take it in his hands and look who was ringing him up.
"Hello, Tomlinson here." he answered it.
Harry didn't bother with trying to hear the person on the other side.
"Oh okay. I totally forgot about that. I'll be there. Thank you for letting me know." Louis took the phone away from his ear, taking his eyes back to Harry on the bed.
"Will you come with me to pick up something?" no answer.
He didn't want to leave Harry alone.

"I'll sleep some more." Harry whispered after a bit of time.
Louis looked at how he pulled the duvet all the way up to his chin. However, Louis was still completely petrified from the last time. He could see the younger one wasn't well...

"Are you sure?" Louis asked. Harry just nodded slowly.
"Okay, I will be back in a few." Louis got up, even though he didn't want to leave him.

He had to do something before leaving though. He took his only two sharp knives and hid them away.

He dressed up and took a look at Harry once more. The green eyed one was still just lying down. Louis made his way out of the flat afterwards, knowing he had to be quick.

When Harry heard the sound of the door, he turned onto his back.

Louis was gone. Harry sat up on the bed, not knowing what to do with himself anymore.
He was tired, so freaking tired. He just wanted to sleep forever.

He got up from the bed eventually and opened Louis' wardrobe.
He chose the biggest hoodie Louis owned and put it on. He also put on a pair of his joggers. After that he made his way outside of the room and headed towards the door of the flat.

He hesitated for a moment, but in the end he closed the door behind himself and left.
He brought the hoodie up to his nose, trying to remember the smell.

Harry left the flat house, making his way somewhere he didn't even know yet. He watched the people passing him. There were couples, whole families walking outside. Harry felt once again like he was alone in the whole world.

He walked through the park, seeing a child with it's mother feeding the ducks. The child was smiling and the mother was too. Harry missed being carefree like that kid.

He carried on walking towards the place he had picked. As he carried on walking the horns of trains could be heard much closer and clearer.

After some more time of walking, he arrived to the place he had picked. It was a part of railway line that was covered from both sides by well grown trees. So if a train was coming and Harry stood there, there wouldn't be any chance for the train to stop in time.

Harry just stood there, not stepping into the railway lineyet. He stood a few steps away, waiting for a passing train to check it out first.

As he waited for the train, he thought about so many things.

"We could do some cliché stuff that other couples do." Louis shrugged, hoping Harry would agree.
"I like the idea."
"We could do a dinner and cinema if you want to." Louis offered.
"Yeah, that sounds nice to me." they entered the hospital side by side.

"I love you." Louis kissed the tip of Harry's nose.
Harry smiled up at his older lover.
"I love you too, doctor."

"You look great in my clothes." Louis checked Harry up and down with sparkles in his eyes.

"The truth is that I like you, I think I always have."

"You will be okay."

"I care about you a lot."

"Because I wanted to see you one last time."
"And I want to see you everyday."

Harry snapped out of his little trance when a train passed him in high speed.
He almost fell down from the shock.

He could just step into the railway line and everything would finally stop. He could be free if he did those few steps. The thing was that he couldn't. He found out that he couldn't do that to someone he loved so much. He couldn't do that to Louis.

Harry stepped back with quickened breath and pale face. He turned around and ran away from that place, running back all the way home as tears slipped down his cheeks.
"Im sorry." he hiccuped, hoping that Louis wasn't going to be worried about him.
He ran even though he could feel the weakness in his legs. He was out of breath and had no energy, yet he still ran.

When he reached the house of flats, he quickly pressed the elevator button.
He arrived into something that he didn't want to happen.

The door were slightly open. Louis was sitting in the middle of the living room, crying into his hands.
Harry felt terrible for doing that to him.

He stepped in, walking closer towards the older one.
"Lou." that made Louis look up. His eyes widened when he realized that Harry was right in front of him. He was back. Louis hiccuped, not knowing how to stop crying and calm down.

Harry got down on his knees, wrapping his arms around Louis.
"Im sorry." he mumbled.
"Harry- y-you-" Louis couldn't even talk. That made Harry's face scrunch up in pain. He hurt Louis so much and he hated that.
"I w-was so- w-worried." seeing Louis like this made Harry's heart ache like never before.
"I'm sorry." Harry said once more. He meant it.

Louis held onto him for dear life.
"W-here w-were you?" he asked.

Harry was silent for a moment before he spoke up. Fresh tears began to run down his cheeks as well.
"I am here." Harry rubbed up and down Louis' back. He couldn't make himself tell Louis about it. He never wanted Louis to hurt this much or more.

The older one just carried on crying. He was relieved that Harry was alright but he was still feeling afraid.

When Louis managed to calm down a little, Harry pulled away. He cupped Louis' cheeks and wiped away the tears before pressing his forehead against Louis'.

"What happened?" Louis whispered.
"I love you." was Harry's answer.

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A/N
Hello everyone. Deliveryyy.
I was at the hospital again today and got antibiotics. Hopefully that's all and i won't have to be back till my check up.
How are you doing?
Don't forget to eat and hydrate. Take care x T