doctor, why so cold?

20

Unsteady - X Ambassadors

Louis was making something to eat while Harry was putting some of his things into the wardrobe. When he was done, he went into the bathroom to put his things there as well. He had to smile when he saw that Louis still kept his toothbrush there for him. Harry opened the cabinet that was there. Ironically, the first thing he saw were Louis' razor and blades. He grabbed the razor into his hands, but he put it back just as quickly, rather leaving the bathroom.

He made his way into the kitchen, seeing that Louis was cooking dinner.
"I put my things into your wardrobe. Is it okay?"
Louis looked over his shoulder to look at him.
"More than that love. Make yourself at home." Harry came closer towards Louis and hugged him from the side.

"What is it?" he looked at what Louis was making.
"It's just a quick risotto. Almost finished." Louis stirred the food with a spoon.

"And it's done." Louis switched off the cooker.

Louis served them the food and they ate together at one table after a really long time.
"This is really nice." Harry commented.
"I am glad you like it." Louis put a spoonful into his mouth.

They finished their dinner in silence. Louis loaded the dishwasher while Harry stood behind him awkwardly.
"I am gonna take a shower if it's okay." Harry announced.
"Yeah, totally fine." Louis closed the dishwasher and gave Harry a supportive smile.
Harry kept standing there for a while, which made Louis ask what was going on.

"Is something wrong?" Louis came closer to him.
He could see Harry was playing with his hands nervously.
"Hey." Louis tried to make the younger one look him in the eyes.
"I- I am feeling-" a couple of tears already stained Harry's cheeks.

He didn't want to tell Louis the truth, but he wanted him to know at the same time.
"Fuck." Harry wiped his cheeks while his left leg bounced restlessly.
"I feel bad." he chose to say in the end.
"Okay. Can I do something to make it better? Anything?" Louis asked.
"I am sorry." Harry hid his face, wanting to disappear.
"I really didn't w-want you to see t-this." Louis pulled him to his chest.

"It's okay to be vulnerable, love." Louis pressed a peck into Harry's curls.
"You can show me everything, you can tell me anything." Harry felt like shit for so many reasons.

They stood there, waiting for Harry to calm down. Eventually he managed to do so, but he still felt a lot of things.
"L-Louis, could you put away the r-razors and blades from the bathroom?"
"Of course I can do that." he made his way into the bathroom, grabbing anything sharp that he could find. He took it all and put it into a plastic bag. Then he proceeded to hide the bag somewhere Harry didn't know.

"All gone." he came back into the kitchen to see Harry standing there in the exact same position.
"Thanks." he hiccuped.
"It's all alright. Take a shower, yeah? I'll be waiting here for you." Louis rubbed up and down Harry's back soothingly. The boy nodded and left to the bathroom.

Louis sat down to the kitchen table, feeling bad for the younger one. Louis hoped he could help Harry. He was determined to.

Harry came out of the bathroom with damp hair and Louis' hoodie on.
"I borrowed yours." he came up to the kitchen table.
Louis smiled up at him, liking to see him wear his clothes.

This was a bit confusing for the both of them... They were technically still broken up, but they behaved pretty much like if they were together.

"I think I am gonna try to sleep." Harry announced. He didn't want to think too much. He wanted to just sleep instead of it.
"The bed is all yours." Louis got up from the chair, ready to make the couch for himself.
"I don't want you to sleep on the couch." Harry stepped closer towards him, already knowing what Louis wanted to do.

They stared into each other's eyes while their hearts beat fast.
Harry felt that tingling sensation reappear after quite long. Louis could feel it too.

They both leaned in unintentionally, ghosting over each other's lips before they united them in one.

Louis' hands made it to Harry's waist, keeping him in place. When they pulled away, Louis searched Harry's eyes. As Harry could see for himself... kissing was okay and kissing Louis was more than just that.

"I missed you." Louis mumbled quietly.
"I did too." Harry held onto the older one while letting few tears fall. They weren't sad, those tears.

"Let's try to get some sleep now." Louis nudged Harry's waist. The boy pulled away and waited for Louis to go with him. Louis switched off the big light and left only the smaller one on.

Harry took his usual side of the bed. They both laid down, still being able to make out the outlines of everything thanks to that light coming in from the kitchen.

Harry tried to fall asleep while Louis just ticked with his eyes around the room.
They weren't touching each other at all, there was no snuggling up involved.

Eventually Harry sat up on the bed.
He moved towards Louis and finally snuggled up to his side, just as he wanted for so long.
He wanted to ask if it was okay, but when Louis wrapped his arm around him he realized it was. He didn't need words, Louis told him by the gesture.
They drifted off to sleep pretty quickly like that.

When morning came around, Harry was the first one to be awake. He stayed close to Louis and didn't move. Louis woke up a bit later, noticing that Harry was awake. The boy's mornings weren't the best. Each morning meant he had to go through yet another exhausting day full of shit.

"Love?" Harry took his eyes to Louis' face.
"Morning." Harry tried to smile. After that he climbed off the bed.
He left the room to go to the bathroom, making Louis sigh. Harry didn't deserve any of this shit. He was like a walking sun, always positive, always trying to make everyone happy... How come that a person like him had to go through all of this shit?
"It's not fucking fair." Louis mumbled to himself.

He hoped Harry was going to win his life back and beat the shit out of his mental illnesses.

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A/N
Hey loves.
Today I am posting two chapters. I hope you like them. It would mean a lot of you left some of your thoughts/feedback in the comments if you have a minute to spare. <3

Tomorrow I'm getting a surgery.
I have been feeling sick the whole day. I am really afraid of the whole process.
How are you doing?

Don't forget to hydrate and eat!
Take care. x T