𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 | 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐢

11

janae

"we have some new students," coach allen pointed at me and some other kids. i looked away cause yeah i am shy i hate it but that's just how am i.

but at least he didn't make me stand up.

"but this doesn't affect how we go about things," he started once more after getting the other kids attention. "you will still listen to instruction and stay quiet.

"yo coach," some kid called. i looked back and it was janem, this boy who dated mia i think. i don't know if they're still dating or friends with benefits but i know the relationship is messy. "what we doing today?"

"fast track. matter fact, raise your hand if you've ever played face track."

some people raised their hands but my hand stayed down.

some dude whispered to me, "you know how to play janae, it's basically just handball."

oh

i raised my hand while looking back. it was jahron who told me. i remember him from freshman year when i had to have pe.

he was this light skin boy with freeforms. i liked them and he usually had grills but the ones in right now were fading.

"well that's good. go walk and in a few minutes me and dr pete will start the game."

all the other kids got up and i followed suit, taking my phone out. phones weren't technically allowed but again the teachers didn't care.

i put one airpod and walked around the gym by myself. sergio was talking to some people right now so i didn't wanna bother him by going up to him.

shot for me by drake played.

"i can see it in your eyes, you're angry
regret got shit on what you're feeling now
mad cause he ain't like me
mad cause nobody ever did it like me
all the care i would take, all the love that we made
now you're trying to find somebody to replace what I gave to you
its a shame you didn't keep it, alish, catya
I know that you gon hear this

im the man, yeah, i said it
bitch im the man, don't you forget the way you walk, that's me
the way you talk, that's me
the way you got your hair up, did you forget that's me?
and the voice in the speaker right now, that's me, that's me
and the voice in your ear, that's me
cant you see that i made it? yeah i made it
first i made you who you are and then i made it
and you're wasted with your ladies
yeah i'm reason why you always getting faded,"

"mamas," i heard someone call and instinctively i turned my head because that's what sergio calls me most the time.

sergio was walking towards me, well running a bit. "why didn't you come talk to me?"

"oh i didn't wanna bother you," i replied quietly, avoiding eye contact.

"you would never bother me though. i like talking to you better than them most the time."

"most the time?"

"all the time."

i smiled. "whatchu listening to?"

"drake."

"of course." he rolled his eyes before i gave him an airpod which was when he finally shut up.

he secretly liked drake too, he was just playing around.

"take a shot for me
take a shot for me
take a shot for me
shot for me
a shot for me

okay look, i'm honest
girl, i can't lie, i miss you
you and the music were the only things that i commit to
i never cheated, for the record, back when i was with you
but you believed in everything but me girl, i don't get you

she says, "i know you changed
i never see you 'cause you're always busy doing things
i really wish she had a different way of viewing things
i think the city that we're from just kinda ruined things
its such a small place, not much to do but talk and listen
the men are jealous and the women all in competition
and now your friends telling you stories that you often misinterpret
and taint all your images of "mr perfect"

i could tell that you been crying all night, drinking all summer
praying for your happiness, hope that you recover
this is one i know you hated when you heard it
and it's worse because you know that i deserve it

take a shot for me
take a shot for me
take a shot for me
shot for me
a shot for me

may your neighbors respect you
trouble neglect you
angels protect you
and heaven accept you."

"damn what's that song called?" sergio asked me, peering over my shoulder.

"so now you like drake?"

"i never not liked him."

"mhm. it's called shot for me."

coach blew his whistle and sergio led me to the middle of the gym where coach allen and dr pete were.

for pe, we had two gyms and two teachers yet the coaches shared a gym. the other was used for extra games from what i know.

"since me and dr pete don't want to watch you guys run miles, you'll be playing fast track or handball. my class line up on the wall and dr pete's class on the outer section."

we left and sergio wished me luck. my nerves were all over the place cause i don't wanna embarrass myself. i already had no friends but i was tryna make some this year.

get back to my old self a little.

but i can't embarrass myself. i refuse to.

the first five people kicked while some random boy rolled it to people. i took a deep breath before going to where i was supposed to kick.

i stepped back a little and speed walked til i winded my foot backward and kicked the ball with my dominant foot.

i soon as the ball propelled forward i ran. making it to first base, i watched as sergio caught the ball, looking at me before throwing it back.

he held up two thumbs up, mouthing 'you did good.' i shook my hand in a sideways motion that indicated i didn't do as good as i wanted to.

"safe!" dr pete yelled. she smiled at me and i smiled back. "7-0!"

the game was just us kicking the ball as hard as we could and running as fast as we could to first base, hoping the ball wouldn't be put down before we made it and the ball wasn't out.

from there on, we would run to each base each time someone kicked with the same amount of energy to make it cause if we didn't before the ball would be put down we would be out.

we would just run in a circle from each base, trying to not get out before it was our turn to be on outfield.

"switch!" dr pete said after the last person kicked and didn't make it.

i couldn't judge though.

"you did good janae, i'm proud," sergio told me as he went to go kick.

"thank you, gio."

ugh i don't mean to call him gio but it's easier i guess. i like it but are we at that place in our friendship yet??