akito's pov: 5:10pm - 25/05/23
i awoke to the sound of ringing in my ears, im not quite sure when i blacked out- questioning if it was the work of the doctors drugging me again.
the thing i hate most about being in the hospital is meal times (aside from the egoist medical practitioners surrounding me). they aways ensured i consumed my food and the worst part was: the food was even remotely good.
i twiddled the fork around in my sloppy mashed potatoes as the nurses tried making idle chatter with me, masking that they were just monitoring whether i was eating or not; which i wasn't, because no one in their right mind would indulge in this mush.
"come on akito, eat up! if you finish it all i might give you a surprise." one said cheerfully, i liked her- nurse kiya. she was a gorgeous woman, long bleach blonde locks cascading down her back contrasting to her tanned skin. kiya spoke to me as if i was still an innocent child and though many may find that aggravating. i, for one, appreciated it as it reminded me that i am still just a teenager.
... just a teenager. i wish i could be normal.
tears begin to flow out my eyes at the reminder. i begin to feel sick as become overly aware of the plate of food in front of me. loud sobs escape unintentionally.
i didn't want to cry, not right now, not over food. but i couldn't help it.
i became conscious of the fat still on my body, the unnecessary layers that remained and were not burnt. i cry louder as the duo of nurses attempt at comfort, i didn't want to be touched right now.
"lose weight pig."
my fingers made their way to my face as i start to scratch and peel away at the delicate skin upon my cheeks. more nurses and doctors arrive, as they begin to pry my nails away from the broke skin that way beginning to bleed little specks of crimson.
it felt as though my lungs were on fire, as i took greedy gulps of air, trying my hardest not to pass out.
kiya rubbed circles on my back while i chocked and spluttered.
i begin shaking my head ferociously as a doctor makes their way towards me: needle in hand.
"no. NO, NO!" i screamed tears streaming down my messed up face, stinging the scratches laying upon me.
no one ever cared what i wanted.
they injected the poison into my bloodstream and i quickly became drowsy.
YOU ARE READING
actions of regret - akitoya.
Fanfictionakito finds himself falling deeper and deeper into depression picking up unhealthy coping mechanisms along to way. after a suicide attempt everything changes, how will he recover? there is going to be triggering topics within this fic. such as: s...
