Chapter 4: His abandonment

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2 years ago
Zachary
I turn around in my soft bed and stretch my body. I really want to bet money on someone whether or not my mom is home. I bet she isn't like usual. Taking a deep breath, I get up from my bed.

I walk out my door and see Xavier instead of my dad. Why is he always here but not my dad? I thought Mom said they were still together.

I walk downstairs and my mom is drinking water and her attention draws to me. "Listen, Zachary, I and Xavier are traveling on a trip for 3 weeks. You know the rules," she told me as she grabbed her suitcase.

I sat on the couch and played with my hair. I nodded, not saying a word.

"You are so difficult to raise. Why are you sitting down?" she asked harshly.

I looked up and said nothing.

What the fuck is she talking about right now?

"What are you talking abou-" I responded but before I could finish my sentence my front door slammed.

I got up and walked to the bathroom to get ready for the day. 

~3 weeks later~
I plug my headphones on and listen to my playlist while watching the stars outside. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I feel a sense of peace washes over me.

My mom isn't back yet, and she hasn't answered my calls or texts, and neither has Xavier. Diego texted me about working again and I forced myself to respond.

I lay back down on the blanket on the grass and watched the stars again. Every day, I see the stars shaping something new.

I hope I can get a star tattoo when I get older.

~𝟓 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭~

My mother has not yet returned home, and nobody is home. Not even my dad is replying to me and he is never even home. I'm worried. I can't help but feel something is wrong.

What if something happened to them?

I'm running out of food.I'll have to go grocery shopping to cook dinner.

I messaged Diego, and it didn't deliver. He blocked me on every social media.

~𝟐 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭~

I stopped going to school every day, I don't eat often, and I stay in my room. Listening to music like I always do. Music is my escape from the world. It's my way to take a break from reality. It's the only thing that helps me find peace.

I finally realized that everyone had left me, and was never coming back.

My mom was a shit mother, but I would've never thought that the only family member that stuck around would leave me. I was alone. The pain and loneliness I felt was overwhelming. I had no one to turn to and no one to rely on.

There's always a pain in my chest, guilt, anger, and sadness in me.

No one knows how much I cried about being abandoned for so long. How much I hurt myself hoping to die but never did. They left because of me. I wish I had a father here. Caring for me, teaching me how to play basketball, watching movies with me, spending time camping with me, ice skating with me, and watching football games with me too. All the things I imagined.

But he had another family. It's crazy how my father forgets his own child once he gets a new one.

Every time it's Father's day I lock myself in my room because I know I won't get a text back.

All the things my parents said to me replay in my head. I don't even know why I expect anything different. I guess I've just held out hope that my parents will change.

Mary Samara is not my mother.

Charles Astor is not my father.

If they were, they would've been here.

I shouldn't have to wish my parents loved me.

They should have loved me from the start.

✰✰

For months I was hurt inside, and it never stopped. But after a while, I got used to knowing I would never be loved.

"Yeah," I cleared my throat.

She sniffled again. "Why?" she asked me.

"Because my parents never gave me the love I needed,"

☆☆

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⠀⠀⠘⣿⡅⠓⢒⡤⠤⠀⡈⠱⣄⣼⡴⠋⡀⠀⠤⢤⡒⠓⢬⣿⠃⠀⠀
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢼⣟⢦⢶⢅⠜⢰⠃⠀⢹⡌⢢⣸⠦⠴⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Word count: 710

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