𝐒𝐩𝐲 𝐈𝐧 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞 ✭ TST Love Triangle

9 - Trapped In Memories

Slight TW ⚠️

~

While Rye and Cyra were bickering about something I didn't give much attention to, my mind drifted off.

I was mostly thinking about the pub and how it could possibly affect me so much. Was there something in the drink that made it ten times worse than it was? Or was it just the hurtful truth that it was horrible what Kane did to me? Both?
I couldn't tell. Too much had been going on at once... too many hands touching me everywhere, hitting, grabbing, clenching.. and I still felt them all on me, wondering how many showers it would take for me to get over it.. how many practicing with physical touch for me to get used to it again.

If I finally found Minho and Newt again, would I get a flashback when I hugged them? I always felt so comfortable around them, so it seemed impossible, yet I wasn't sure.

"Should we tuck it in for the night?" Cyra suddenly suggested.

I shook out of my thoughts. "Sure."

Rye agreed too and soon I lay my backpack down on the sand. We got a little closer to the mountains, where the sand was dried up, so easier to sleep on without getting sand in my mouth.

For a reason I didn't completely understand myself, I lay down far away from the siblings and soon fell asleep.

~

"Mom?"

I was trapped in my own body again, my movements and talking uncontrollably. It was the same as the dreams I had in the Glade, me only able to think.

A woman with thick eyebrows and the same dark hair as me looked up from her book, taking her glasses off.

"Uhm.." I started. Not long after I noticed how short I was. I was young.

The woman sighed. "What is it?"

"The other day.." I cleared my throat as my own voice rang in my ears. I guessed by only hearing it I was a kid, a few years younger than Chuck was.
"Dad did something I was very uncomfortable with."

The woman slammed her book closed. "This again?"

I felt the tears burn in my eyes as I stood there uncomfortably. Was that woman really my mother?

"I am so sick of you making all this up again." She immediately raised her voice. "You should be ashamed of yourself. He's your father!"

Young me swallowed, me noticing it was turning into a habit before I looked at the ground.

"Just go to your room! I can't even look at you right now." She ordered. "You're making all this up!"

"But mom-."

"Go." She interrupted sternly.

Young me took a ragged breath and rushed away, slamming a door closed behind me. The tears blurred my vision, so I wasn't able to inspect the room as I broke down on the ground, back leaning against the door.

"Hey, my dear." A sudden male voice said. "What is wrong?"

I felt the panic rise in my small chest for a another reason I didn't get.

"I thought we promised you wouldn't tell anyone?" He lowered his voice threateningly.

"I- I didn't-." I stammered, tears streaming down my face like crazy.

"Come over here, my dear."

I tried to blink a few tears away and managed to see a dark figure sitting on a small bed, staring at me deeply.

"Now."
Slowly I walked over to the bed, looking at the ground. When I got close enough to him, he grabbed both of my wrists and pulled me onto the bed. I let out a cry right before a hand was slammed on my mouth.

"Don't make a sound." He threatened. "This is our little secret, right, my dear?"

Then the horror began. Literal horror. I was trapped in the body, screaming for anyone, but it didn't work. I couldn't wake up, but did feel every single touch the man made.. every squeeze or hit. I felt all of it. Everything.

~

Feeling worse than ever before, I walked after the sibling again. My feet moved slowly, like the ground was made of peanut butter and I had to swim through it.

The image of everything that happened in the dream never left my mind. I could feel it all together now. Dave, Kane, the man that was most likely my father, and the men in the pub.

So that's why it affected me so much, I realized. And it broke me. How was I ever supposed to act normal again? Not flinching when someone touched me?

Some tears formed in my eyes and I tried so hard to stop them from falling, but failed and let them drop. Rye and Cyra couldn't see me anyways.

I mentally punished myself when I let out a quiet sob, followed by a deep breath.

Then Rye turned around, I snapped my head toward the ground and kept walking.

"What's wrong?" He turned concerned.

"Nothing," I assured in a whisper, hoping badly he wouldn't continue on it. And he didn't, finally.

~

A/N:

I'm sorry if it might be a little extreme. I want to spread awareness and Jane needed a backstory. I hope everyone is doing okay!

What do you think will happen when Jane meets Newt and Minho again?