✧*̥˚ {𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔫 ℑ𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔠𝔱 𝔒𝔫𝔢𝔰𝔥𝔬𝔱𝔰 & ℌ𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔫𝔰} *̥˚✧

𝕿𝖍𝖔𝖒𝖆 ♡

I knew from the moment I woke up it was going to be one of those days. No sooner had my eyes barely fluttered open than tears pricked my eyes and the overwhelming feeling of sadness rose up from the deep dark depths of my emotions.

Sadness for no reason. Great.

I pushed it down as firmly as I could, but it refused to retreat fully to the hell it had come from. A crack formed on nothing—heart not broken but destroyed all the same.

I knew I had to get up at some point during the day. Already, I longed for my friend's sweet and uplifting voice. I knew right then and there that it was bad. I only thought of Thoma after I had food—never before.

I slipped out from the covers and walked to the bathroom—at a pace that would seem normal to others but was notably slower to me. I washed my face, the water freezing in the chilled air of winter catching me off-guard. In that short span of vulnerability, the thoughts raced from the darkness to swarm my mind—thoughts of negativity that were only enhanced by the cold.

I wanted to hop back into bed—to wrap myself up in my thick woollen blankets and feel the comfort of the warmth that would shelter me—but I knew that wouldn't shield me from the darkness that lurked within me. So I hauled on some fresh, warm clothes and tidied myself up before stalking out of my house towards the Kamisato Estate.

It was a good trek from my house and I would usually never make the journey this early in the morning—but I just felt like I had to. The whole walk there, I could feel the gloom hovering over me like a dark cloud. I just hoped that the feeling went away before anyone could notice.

Everything was fine. I was fine. I told myself that over and over but the mindset wouldn't sink in. I was one thing away from snapping. I didn't know how, but I gathered I would either hit something or cry. The numbness I was feeling in my limbs would prevent me from hitting anything, so it would be the former. Archon, if someone saw me crying...

I knew it was going to be one little thing that broke me—that would allow the wave of desolate despair to come crashing down on me—so I began thinking about what to do and what to avoid, making sure the usual smile was plastered on my face, even if it didn't fully reach my eyes.

Finally, I reached the Kamisato Estate and hobbled onto the wooden porch. I knocked on the door and an attendant opened it just a crack, turning his nose up at my plainness.

"We aren't buying anything."

The absolute nerve—

My breath hitched at the rejection and I had to pause all bodily functions in order to calm myself back down to a stable level.

I then heard a soft female voice from inside and my muscles relaxed. The tears would not fall. Everything was ok, I reminded myself.

"Ayaka!" I called out, and the attendant gave me a look that made me think he was going to call in the entire Shogunate Army.

But he was gently pushed aside as Ayaka's smiling face popped out. "You're here quite early, Y/n," she beamed. She opened the door wider. "Come in. Thoma's making breakfast."

I smiled as I wiped my boots on the mat and walked in, the attendant stalking off to tend to other matters. "Good, I'm starving."

So far, so good.

Thoma and breakfast all at once. Two birds with one stone. The smile on my face was real. "Is he in the kitchen?" I asked.

She hummed in the affirmative. "I think seeing you will be a pleasant surprise," her gentle voice sang.

I smiled in reply and turned on my heel, racing to find the blonde douchebag I called my friend—my best friend, even.

I saw him humming to himself, dancing to his rhythm, as he heated something over a stove, the pan's contents sizzling. I leaned on the door frame and smiled, allowing myself to let my guard down. Everything seemed fine.