The List

Chapter 26

I'd never hated sex scenes, kissing scenes or any other kind of intimate scenes, but I did hate doing it with someone I disliked.

Fellow actors always acted as though kissing someone for work was just the way it was, you did it and then you were done and went home. I didn't take it very lightly, even after having shot a series that had revolved around it.

When shooting Sharing is Caring, I'd been in an environment with people I'd grown to love over the years and all my intimate scenes had been with people who took it just as seriously as I and who didn't like me as more than a friend.

Samdi was different. Samdi had been talking about the moment our clothes dropped for weeks, constantly reminding myself of it and increasing my insecurities.

I felt his eyes all over my body, taking in every part of me, while I stood in the doorway. On camera, it'd seem like I was wholly naked, but the fact was only my chest was exposed.

Emma's hickey of the day before was covered under a new layer of makeup. Elsa had truly saved me with that, because if the producers would've discovered my body had gained a mark during the shoots, they'd be livid. I was supposed to avoid all kinds of changes in my body, whether it was sunlight or bruises.

"So, I gather you're here to thank me?" Samdi said his line in his low, raspy voice. I pretended to feel confident and steady, but I had to calm my nerves in order to do so.

"Oh, dear. You have no idea," I said, trying to sound both alluring and cold. I'd practiced a lot to get this line right. I slowly approached him, swaying my hips and focusing on where I put my legs.

We'd gone over the scene many times. I was to climb on top of him and pretend to ride him, by moving my pelvis against his lower stomach. I faked moans, I threw my head back as though I was loving this moment and eventually I had to kiss him.

Our characters hadn't yet kissed, which was odd given the predicament they'd just gotten themselves in, but this was the first time Samdi's lips were against mine and I realized I should've chosen someone else to seduce, because he was loving it far too much.

We repeated the scene a couple of times to get all the right shots and when we were done, it was almost midnight. Elsa helped me take off my makeup and asked me if I was okay.

"Yes, I'm fine, just tired."

"It's okay if you're not fine, Regina. This type of scenes ask a great deal of someone. It's very difficult to expose yourself like this. There's no doubt you did a great job, but no matter how much you prepared, no matter how good the coordinator was, it can still be hard, mentally."

I inhaled deeply and nodded, offering Elsa a smile. "Thank you. It was difficult, but I really am okay. I'm just glad I only have one scene to shoot, tomorrow."

"Will you be fine on your own? If you want, I could keep you company or call someone? I say this with all my love, but you look like you're on the verge of a mental breakdown."

I looked at myself in the mirror and I was surprised to see she was right. Now that the makeup was off my face, I had red cheeks and dark circles under my eyes. My lips were red from aggressively having to kiss Samdi and my body was sore from the physical effort I'd put into this scene.

"I think I'm going to visit someone," I said, realizing that I really wanted to see Emma in this moment. I knew it was past midnight and I figured she was in a deep sleep, but I needed to hold her, even for just a second.

"Shall I drive you?" Elsa asked. I wanted to tell her it wasn't necessary, that she'd already helped me enough, but she was right. I was in no mood to be alone right now, even during the trip to Emma's apartment.