Lucas
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I fucked up...
I know what I did was wrong, but I wasn't expecting her to not forgive me.
Fuck, who am I kidding?
Of course, she won't forgive me.
Sam is in the room with her, hopefully feeding her. But he hasn't left and now I'm pacing. I shouldn't be pacing... I should march in there and demand her to stay!
What the fuck!
I ran into the gym and punched the punching bag as hard as I could. Then I do it repeatedly, punching harder until I hit it so hard I can't breathe or feel anything.
Turning on the radio, blaring it until I can't hear anything but the music itself. Seb soundproofed the room, because of my "outbursts" and I'm actually grateful he did...
I continue punching. Over and over until I sink to my knees holding my hand up to the swinging punching bag so it doesn't hit me in the face. When it stops swinging, I double over and put my hand on my chest. Struggling to take in a deep breath...
But I shake it off, suck up the pain from my chest and stand up.
I look down at my hands, seeing them shaking and covered in blood.
"Fuck" I breathe, but quickly realize that I don't give a fuck...
I need to keep punching, to let this anger out on an inanimate object. Not a person...
"Fuck!" I yelled, punching the bag, but I hit it so hard that it falls out of the ceiling. Clunking when it hits the ground. I kick it, causing myself to hiss. That hurt...
Fuck!
"Fuck!" I yell again, "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I continue kicking it until I physically can't do it anymore. I fall back down to my knees, doubling over the bag, wincing at my hands and now my foot...
I lean backwards, landing on my ass and glance down at my foot.
"Shit." I breathe, seeing how red the skin is and now it's turning black and blue.
Struggling to stand up, I limp over to the table where all of our drinks are sitting and grab my water. I chug it down, taking deep breaths. Trying to relax my body as much as I could.
I broke something... I think, not able to put pressure on my foot-
The surgeon in me is telling me to get off the foot. Do the RICE method and calm down.
But I don't.
I look over at Seb's expensive whiskey and hesitate...
I haven't drunk liquor since I was 18.
Looking away from the liquor, I shake my head, thinking about my mom. She would be so disappointed in me if I drank again-
It took me years to sober up and stop wasting my mother's money away on liquor.
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