Chapter 32

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Lucas

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Lucas

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I fucked up...

I know what I did was wrong, but I wasn't expecting her to not forgive me.

Fuck, who am I kidding?

Of course, she won't forgive me.

Sam is in the room with her, hopefully feeding her. But he hasn't left and now I'm pacing. I shouldn't be pacing... I should march in there and demand her to stay!

What the fuck!

I ran into the gym and punched the punching bag as hard as I could. Then I do it repeatedly, punching harder until I hit it so hard I can't breathe or feel anything.

Turning on the radio, blaring it until I can't hear anything but the music itself. Seb soundproofed the room, because of my "outbursts" and I'm actually grateful he did...

I continue punching. Over and over until I sink to my knees holding my hand up to the swinging punching bag so it doesn't hit me in the face. When it stops swinging, I double over and put my hand on my chest. Struggling to take in a deep breath...

But I shake it off, suck up the pain from my chest and stand up.

I look down at my hands, seeing them shaking and covered in blood.

"Fuck" I breathe, but quickly realize that I don't give a fuck...

I need to keep punching, to let this anger out on an inanimate object. Not a person...

"Fuck!" I yelled, punching the bag, but I hit it so hard that it falls out of the ceiling. Clunking when it hits the ground. I kick it, causing myself to hiss. That hurt...

Fuck!

"Fuck!" I yell again, "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I continue kicking it until I physically can't do it anymore. I fall back down to my knees, doubling over the bag, wincing at my hands and now my foot...

I lean backwards, landing on my ass and glance down at my foot.

"Shit." I breathe, seeing how red the skin is and now it's turning black and blue.

Struggling to stand up, I limp over to the table where all of our drinks are sitting and grab my water. I chug it down, taking deep breaths. Trying to relax my body as much as I could.

I broke something... I think, not able to put pressure on my foot-

The surgeon in me is telling me to get off the foot. Do the RICE method and calm down.

But I don't.

I look over at Seb's expensive whiskey and hesitate...

I haven't drunk liquor since I was 18.

Looking away from the liquor, I shake my head, thinking about my mom. She would be so disappointed in me if I drank again-

It took me years to sober up and stop wasting my mother's money away on liquor.

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