Through His Eyes

33 | The Little Hope

❥Through His Eyes✿

J A M I E

A WEEK turned into two, and then into a month since I left Damien's house. There were no calls, texts, or emails except from Henna who constantly reminds me of how he fared each day. It's so weird that every thing I venture into lately reminds me of him.

I wanted to go back to what I love the most, baking. But the bakery was demolished and rebuilt into a warehouse, so I decided to work with mom in her business, since it also involves baking, except it was for little children at the orphanage home. Now I only bake once in a while because I get sick easily. I don't know if it was the effect of leaving his house that made me like this.

Mae visited once in a while to check on how I was doing, she suggested she take a vacation from work since she hasn't used any yet. Unique was of help too. They wouldn't hesitate to make me breakfast, lunch and most times dinner when I was too lazy to do them, treating me like someone who just experienced break up. Now, I watched as Unique made me oats, oats which I was really craving for and suddenly I'm not.

"I don't want oats." I whined. God, I didn't want to hurt him by telling him this. But I just didn't want oats anymore.

He sighed and turned off the microwave. "It'd be a waste of food Jamie, you were the one who kept saying you wanted oats."

I pouted and walked over to the kitchen where he had kept the bowl of undone oat. Just the sight of it made me nauseous. "For some reason I want scrambled eggs and cold bananas with pickles."

"What? Jamie what's with you and weird food combinations these days. The other time it was homemade gelato and this same pickle." His face contorted.

I grunted holding my hands together as a sign of plea. "Please Unique, I promise I'll make dinner rolls specially for you."

His eyes rolled from my hands to my face. "You guys are not divorced yet right? You keep wearing your wedding ring. I wonder what happened." He blurted, eyed me cautiously then shuffled over to the crates to get an egg.

"Make it three eggs?" I said pretending like I didn't hear what he said. I felt too tired to bother.

I slumped on the sofa and did not bother shutting my eyes. Sleep was a long way from me. My heart suddenly weighed heavier than a barbell and random thoughts and images exploded in my head.

I watched as Unique sliced cold bananas into the scrambled egg he had fried. "You're really okay right. I mean your night sickness and everything."

My brows furrowed. "We've been to three different hospitals Unique. They said it's just stress." But even my mom refused to believe it.

"The fourth hospital is yet to tell us the results. Well, as a doctor I am..." I shot him a look. "Aspiring doctor..." He quickly corrected. I think it's not just stress. It's something more. Who knows?" He smirked.

"You really should get a girlfriend." The sudden topic escaped my mouth.

"I'd rather not meet anyone. That's the most pointless activity of all. Relationships. No offense but..."

"None taken." I took another forkful of eggs.

"I spend half my energy on work and the rest I focus on surviving. The cycle of knowing each other, relying and then you fight. I find it crazy. Relationships are just detestable." He clicked his tongue, and by just looking at me, he figured he had said enough. He then pulled me up. "Come on you said you'll make dinner rolls for me."

Lazily, I dropped the plate of eggs and followed him down to the kitchen, where he had already set the ingredients ready.

"Do you really think it's something else? Like what I'm thinking?" I combine the dry ingredients with warm milk and water, before turning on the electric whisker.

"That you're pregnant? I mean I'm not completely sure."

I quickly left what I was doing and grabbed my phone.

Signs of Pregnancy.

And all the signs weren't different to what was happening to me.

Am I really pregnant?

"Will you follow me to the hospital? I just need to be sure. I'm positive the results are out." I couldn't contain my joy as I rushed to the bedroom to put on something different and comfortable.

* * *

We were at the waiting area after the doctor had told us to she'd be with us shortly. I rubbed my tummy impatiently waiting for the doctor and the results. She finally came with a brown envelope in her hand.

"Mrs Jamie?" I nodded. She handed me the envelope. "You say you get nauseous and throw up at times."

"Yeah, I get weird cravings too." I paused taking the papers from the envelope. "Am I pregnant?"

She chuckled. "Ah, no you're not pregnant. It's as a result of stress, you are really, really stressed out and need rest. I've prescribed some drugs for you to get."

My smile died immediately giving the information she passed. My expectations where to high. Pregnant? Why the hell was I thinking I'd be pregnant? It happened only once, just once. I should have known the chances are really low. I feel stupid having these high hopes, almost thinking I was pregnant, adding a little bundle of joy, which might be a way I could get back to Damien.

But even if I was, would he accept me.

I felt a hand resting on shoulder. "Thank you doctor." Unique said and helped me walk out the hospital seeing I was to weak to even move.

Stress.

I huffed. How foolish. The three hospitals I've been to made it clear that it was stress. And still for a moment I believed I was pregnant.

"The doctor said it was just stress." I told my mom when she asked for the results. My eyes never leaving the TV. It still had the same crack on it as it did months ago.

"Are you sure it's just stress? Should we try another hospital?" My dad nodded at her to stop, it would only annoy me the more.

"Mom I'm not pregnant okay? I've decided to take my mind of that topic because it's never going to happen!" I tossed the pillow on the chair and ran upstairs to my room.

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IN THE NEXT CHAPTER...

All of a sudden, she broke the kiss, her hold around my neck loosened. My addled brain was playing tricks with me, I lifted a stunned eyes to search her face.  But it wasn't until a faint snore issued from between her lips and I realized what had happened, she had passed out.

"Limit your regrets only to me." I carefully slipped my hands under her back and legs to carry her to the bed with her wet clothes, where I laid her down and pulled the duvet over her.

"Your regrettable actions could destroy me."