Before the Rain Stops || Myoui Mina

Chapter 34

It came on its own. My tears came on its own. For a reason I don't really know of. It just started pouring with no mercy. And I just let it. Not like I could stop it if I wanted. It kept falling and falling. My sight was blurry. I just stared at my hands.

They crawled up to my chest. My breath was shaky. My heart felt squeezed.

It hurt.

"I..." My words began itself. "...had a sad dream."

And that was all. I don't remember what it was. I don't remember what happened. But something in there helped make me feel like this.

Interlaced through my hands came Mina's. She held my cheek and brought me to face her, taking a seat beside me on the mattress. She smiled at me. It was so, so pretty. I couldn't tell if my heart squeezed more or if it felt healed. All I could think about was how pretty Mina was.

Somewhere along the way, I somehow gathered the strength to say it.

To say the truth.

"He's dead." I took another shaky breath,"Jae chose to stay there." In the burning house.

Mina smiled a bitter smile, "Yeah."

She already knew.

I returned it, "Yeah."

I knew too-that no matter what I said, I wouldn't be able to change his mind. I knew, but I thought maybe it was possible. Maybe, even if I barely knew Jae, I'd be able to change his mind. Maybe, if I tried my best, I'd be able to stop him.

I wasn't.

There was no 'maybe'.

It was already set.

He was already set.

Mina wrapped her arms around me. It felt warm. I missed it so much. I wish this could go on forever. I wish I could forget everything that happened and just stay in Mina's arms. Spend the rest of my life in her arms. I'd be okay with that. Just wipe all my memories away and leave me here. I'd be okay.

If it meant I would be able to feel this comfort I'm feeling right now for eternity, then I wouldn't mind.

The squeeze on my heart only continued.

It was warm.

Her arms.

Her entire being.

It could've been the daze of just waking up. Or perhaps the wound on my torso. Maybe the desperation to see Sana, Jihyo, Nayeon, and Asami after so long. The need to apologize to everyone. There was the death of Jae too. Along with the unknown states of Yuna and Wendy.

"I'm tired of trying so hard."

The tears fell even more, if that was possible.

Mina rested her chin on my shoulder. She understood what I was talking about, "You don't have to anymore. Just live how you want. Others can deal with it." Her hand found it's way to lace through mine once more.

My mouth was pressed against her covered collarbone. While one of her hands held mine and the other kept me in her embrace, I could only cling tightly the hand given to me. I nodded.

"You don't have to act mature. You don't have to pretend for the sake of others," Mina continued.

I felt my chest ache, "Mm."

"Just..."

She chose her words carefully.

"...live."

It was a simple, two-worded order.

"Mm," My hum cracked.

But those were the magic words that began to release the tight grip in my chest. It didn't free all at once, that's for sure, but it felt so much better.