Before the Rain Stops || Myoui Mina

Chapter 23

TW: self harm, intrusive thoughts(?)

Yuna closed her eyes as we set our gifts onto the center of our human circle. All of them were wrapped or in a gift bag—mine being in a bag.

I glance over at all the other presents and tried guessing them in my head. Jae's is a palm-sized box with a bow on top, Wendy's is a big bag, and Mina's is a small bag. Mine is also a small bag. Though we don't necessarily care who's gift Yuna cares more about, the unspoken contest still exists.

Let's see who'll win Yuna's favor.

—•—

I'm hunched over on the grass, coughing my lungs out. My eyes hurt from the smoke. Mina had to practically drag me out of the burning building because of how my eyes couldn't handle it.

"Where's Yuna and Jae?!" I overhear Mina yell, asking Wendy. Wendy's hands trembles over her face as she shakes all over, "Yuna? Jae? Th-they're.. they're.." An unfamiliar timidness showed on her face. Wendy falls over on the lawn, passing out.

I had no time to react as Mina bursts back into the burning building behind me.

Exhaling took over my system and I couldn't breathe for a long second. The unbalanced inhale and exhaling makes me wheeze. I punch my chest to hopefully get it back together. It was like someone muffled my ears to purposely make me feel dazed.

What's going on? How did- how did this happen? Who? Why is this happening? We were just enjoying Yuna's birthday a few hours ago, and now it's chaos.

It all felt so overwhelming.

Is this a dream? Am I dreaming?

Is it my fault?

Did she find me? Did I cause this to happen?

I'm scared.

I'm scared, Nayeon.

I'm scared, Asami.

I don't wanna be here, I wanna be with you guys.

Please save me.

Please save me like you guys always do.

I don't like being alone.

It's becoming harder and harder to breathe. Each second, I'm losing more and more control of my lungs. Why are my eyes hurting? The night is becoming even darker than before.

I punch my chest again, finally being able to take a big gasp for air. It sounded like screeching when I was catching my breath. My chest heaved up and down for my life.

My eyes slowly make their way to make view with Wendy's unconscious body. It was all too unfamiliar. She didn't move nor did she say anything. Of course she didn't though, she's not awake, she's blacked out.

All of this, these unfamiliarities, makes me remember just how much of an outsider I am.

I don't fit here, do I? I've never fitted here.

No one here likes me.

They're only acting like they do so I don't feel bad.

They probably hate me for bothering them and the awkwardness I always put out.

Is this nature's way of telling me to get out?

That I don't belong here? That I'm ruining their lives? That I'm a parasite? That I'm pestering them? That I've had enough fun? That there is no hope in trying to change my fate of getting caught?