Never Gonna Forget- Paul Lahote Love Story (Under Revision)

Chapter.26- The other side

Ch.26- The other Side

*Jaclyn's POV*

As the creatures combined into one, I recognized the all too familiar creature. I have spent years upon years staring back at this creature. I faced this being every second, of every minute, of every hour, and of every day. I was either facing the challenges that it threw at me, or I was running from it. It knew everything about me; every detail from my deepest darkest thoughts and secrets to my most happiest memories.

It looks so familiar to me because I stared at it every day right in its face, sometimes in the mirror but most times within my very own mind. This creature was and is myself. I was my own personal hell and this was my inner demon self. Although my inner demon self doesn't look anything like me, or rather me as a whole being. For starters, its eyes were nothing like my bright blue eyes. (Sorry, I've been saying her eyes are dark blue for most of the story, but they are bright blue).

The iris around its eyes were midnight black and the pupil had red specks within it. These specks would glow brighter and darker as if they were fire embers that were fuelled by the emotions within it or around it. The skin tone of this being was polar opposite to my tan skin and instead was pale; almost like a vampire's skin tone. There were no tattoos on its skin, but instead there was a nose and snake bite lip piercings; which is different from myself since I have tattoos and only my ears are pieced. It has short, spiked, black hair that had red streaks throughout it.

As I looked at my inner demon, I noticed that it was taller then me, standing at about six feet, as well as gender-wise, it was male. His gaze pierced into my soul as the hand that was once rushing towards me, to end my very life, disappeared like an illusion from my sight, as if my own mind had played a trick on me. The hand seemed to reappear by his side as if it had been there the entire time. A sarcastic smirk played on his lips as we stared at each other, both of us waiting for the other one to make the first move; just like in a game of chess. It seemed like the air was still around us as we each seemed to debate our first actions and our own thoughts.

"Funny meeting you here, considering all the attempts that I tried to get your attention by, as well as all the failed attempts that your father has made trying to kill you." He says sarcastically, his smirk staying on his lips.

"Ha ha, you are so funny. When have you ever attempted to get my attention, better yet, when have you ever tried to help me out?"I question him, just as sarcastic as him when I first speak to him but then when I question him, I lose my sarcastic tone.

"Why do you do this to yourself?"He questions me back, rolling his eyes at me and ignoring my question. As he asks me that question, he almost looks worn out, as if the conversation was going to drain him, or rather drain our soul.

"Do what to myself? I don't know what you mean or what you are talking about."I say back to him, acting oblivious to what he is talking about, even though in reality, I know exactly what he means.

"You know exactly what I mean. You always seem to make either the same mistake or mistakes in general and it always ends up being your fault."He says to me, anger flashing across his eyes, making them glow a bright crimson colour.

"It's not like I plan to every single time."I say back to him, glaring at him.

"Really, you don't make the same mistake repeatedly, hoping and praying to whomever you believe in, that the result will be different in the end?"He hisses back at me.

"Newsflash, the world doesn't spin like that."He continues before I have a chance to comment back.

"Okay, so what mistake or mistakes have I made? If I have made any and I know what they are then you should be able to list them. After all, you are my inner demon and are me, so likely, most of them were your doing."I snap at him, not believing anything he is saying. He smirks at me, rolling his eyes at my comment.

"Well, let's start with your mother's murder. You could have took the bullet for your mother, but instead you stood on the side line frozen in fear."He states, My eyes widen as my mind flickers to the stored image of my mother's blue soulless eyes after my father had shot her with the exact same gun, that he would use to shoot me years later.

"I was young back then. Besides, where were you when that happened?"I retort back at him. He glares at me but the smirk on his lips remains the same.

"I know I blame myself for not being able to save her, but where were you when I needed you?"I continue before he can make a comment back.

"It was your fault, after every time, everyone stopped talking to you. Who else is to blame for that happening?" He fires back at him and I flinch from the flare of the pain of the memories of when every single one of my friends left me. The pain from their words had left me scarred. I keep my mouth shut, not being able to defend myself at all.

"Can you trust them? A better question is, does Paul even love you or is he just using you like he has with the girls from his past? Are you just another toy to add to his collection?"He continues and this time, I glare at him, feeling anger start to bubble inside of me.

"I can trust them. They are my close friends. He does love me and I'm not one of his dolls. I know I won't be."I retort back at him, glaring even more at him.

"Why did your ancestors even choose you of all people as an Alpha Protector? Can you really save your imprint, pack, band, or even the Cullens plus Bella? Why save those who ignored you for countless months? If you really are the Alpha Protector then why didn't you stop your father from abusing you for all those years?"He snaps out at me.

"You couldn't protect yourself then and couldn't protect your mom when you were eight years old, then how can you protect others now? Does anyone truly care about you and how can you be so certain that they really do care about you? Can you really be certain that they won't hurt you again? Everything seems to be your fault." He continues and I just continue to glare at him as I think about what to say back at him. My lips form into a frown as I think about his words and the truth behind them. It is true, but at the same time, I know that no one meant to hurt me and I've become a stronger person because of what has happened to me.

"The past is the past. I've grown stronger since the incident from when I was eight years old so I can protect who I want if I put my mind to it. They do care about me a lot still and I know this from their actions and words. The pack have apologized and became friends with me again. We have fought a battle together and I have protected them during it. I may have gotten hurt in the process, but I'm willing to risk my life for them. We have even done happy things together, like watch a movie and play truth or dare. The band still care because they moved from Seattle to LaPush, just so that we could all be together again. Everything seems to be my fault because everyone makes mistakes and has their own individual flaws. I won't let you keep trying to control me."I snap at him, not letting the emotions and the memories of my past cloud my mind again.

"Attachments make you weak and could be the death of you. Anyways, have things your way. Just don't complain to me when things keep going wrong and keep getting worse for you. I mean, after all, I am you. You can't keep running from me all the time and you can't blame things on me." He says back to me, glaring at me more.

"Fine."I say to him, and just as I finish saying that one word, a bright blinding light surrounds the pair of us; what once was dark has now turned to light. I guess you can find light even in the darkest of places.

*Let me know what you think*