Ace of Spades (BxB)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

~♤Aces PoV♤~

Not long after I finished doing the basic coloring sheet I found, I faded out of little space. It took me a minute to adjust but when I did I immediately regretted it. I was flooded with embarrassment at the entire interaction I had with Mason. The crying, the apologizing, the love- all of it. I felt gross. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. Apparently, Mason had been paying attention and sat up. "Are you alright Ace? Tired still?"

I felt awful. There were too many emotions flooding into my head and it all just made me mad. "I'm fine. Don't-.." I sighed harshly. I knew it wasn't right to be a dick to Mason. He had just spent almost 30 minutes, more or less, just sitting there with me. After comforting me as I sobbed like a crybaby over hurting his feelings. "There's just.. a lot. I don't want to talk about it." I mumbled and stared at the page in front of me.

"Okay. Just tell me if I can do anything to help." I half expected some sort of annoyed comment about how I was being a jerk. There was no reason for that. I knew Mason wouldn't do that. It just made me more upset. It's probably stupid to want someone to be upset with you. I should've been grateful. I huffed and turned around to look up at him.

I tried to glare at him but it was clearly not effective. "You can't just say that. It's not fair." I know it didn't make any sense. Fuck off don't judge me.

As expected, Mason gave me a confused look. "Not fair..? What do you mean Ace?" I knew it wasn't fair to be a dick, even if it wasn't the usual way I was a dick. I picked up Bean and put my face into him, groaning way too dramatically.

"You're being too.. nice! Too fucking lenient!! You know I was being snappy with you and all you have to say is just, 'mneh mneh tell me if I can do anything.' For fucks sake." I wasn't trying to be aggressive. It just sort of slipped out. It was clear Mason was not only still confused, but also upset. He sighed and gave me a look that seemed in between stern and sympathetic.

He thought for a moment before speaking. "You're upset because I'm not upset with you.. for being snappy?" I nodded in response. I was annoyed so figured it would be better if I kept quiet. "Ace.. you corrected yourself. I could tell you thought about going back and insulting or yelling at me. But you didn't. Why would I be upset at that?"

"Be-because-.. well.." I glared at Mason. I hated that he was always right about every stupid thing. "Because you should be!! Idiot.." I was a lot less confident with the insult, seeing as I didn't believe it. I didn't even know why I wanted him to be upset with me. I was annoyed that he wasn't but I knew the second he was I'd feel awful and guilty. "I've been cursing. Why don't you say something about that?" There was definitely an unnecessarily bitchy tone to my voice.

Mason looked utterly confused and I didn't blame him. "Ace.. are you.. jealous of your little..?" The question shocked me. I was still annoyed that he wasn't mad but that question make me pause. Was I?? How can someone be jealous of themself? Why would I be jealous of myself when I'm in little space? There's nothing to be jealous of in the first place. We're the same person and we have the same things. Hell, I can do more than my little self.

Apparently, Mason caught onto the general idea of what I was thinking. "I know you might think that you're pretty much the same so there's no reason for you to be jealous, but it's actually common among new littles. Especially ones that have trauma like you." He spoke gently, maybe even cautiously. He still wasn't upset. This time it wasn't as annoying though. When I didn't say anything Mason continued. "If you didn't get the care you needed as a kid and then go on to get into being cared for as a little, you can feel like your little gets more care than you do. Even though you're technically the same, you feel different when you're in little space, right?"