Ace of Spades (BxB)

Chapter Twelve

~♤Aces PoV♤~

I finally texted him. I couldn't stop worrying about it and putting it off for days, but now I've done it so it's over with. At least, I hoped it was. Now I have to go talk to him. All I texted him was that I need to talk. I wish I had just told him straight-up. He told me to come over to his house and we could talk and I still haven't responded. I felt twice as anxious and sick as I did just thinking about what to say.

I swallowed stiffly and knocked on the door. Mason answered almost immediately.

"Come in." He smiled gently. As soon as he closed the door he said, "listen, I just want you to know there's no pressure whatsoever-"

I groaned, cutting him off. "I know there's 'no pressure' but there is. You listen, okay? I have been put through hell because of this and I don't want anymore trouble so why don't you just tell me what to do already!?"

"That's fine, I totally understand. Wait, what? You're saying yes? Seriously?"

"Yes! I'm tough as hell and I'll do everything I'm faced with. If I don't like it I'm ditching, understand?" I grumbled. I hated the way he looked at me like I was some sparkly angel. Mason nodded and hugged me. He eventually let go after I smacked him a few times.

"Let's go shopping then!" He grinned.

"I just told you if I don't like it I'm not gonna do it. Why spend money if you don't know for sure I'm going to keep doing this?"

"Well, if you don't like it then I guess I can keep the stuff and give it to the next person I care for." Mason kept smiling. I felt disturbed at how easy he was to move on. Disturbed, not hurt. It's not like I would be heartbroken if he told me he never wanted to see me again.

"If you see anything you like just tell me, okay?" I could feel my face get hot when people stared as we walked down the stuffed toy aisle. Mason was obviously not bothered, pointing out fuzzy pink penguins and saying I'd look cute with it. Jeez this was humiliating. I scanned the shelves to see if I could find a decent plush just to get Mason to shut up. A fat velvety frog caught my eye. I picked it up and stared into the embroidered eyes.

"Do you like frogs?" Mason spoke behind me.

"Not particularly." I rolled my eyes. I smiled at the frog remembering when, a long time ago, I put my hands in a lake by my house and all the little tadpoles swarmed around me. I guess at the time I didn't feel so lonely. I snapped myself out of my thoughts and shoved the frog at Mason. "I'll get him if you promise not to be so embarrassing!! And I'm not naming him or doing any of that crap."

"But it's a he?"

I glared at him and kept walking. Overall we didn't get much. Other than the frog plush, Mason got a coloring book he said I was eyeing but I wasn't at all, I was looking at the book next to it. He also insisted I get some pajamas in a childish pattern. I ended up agreeing to a navy blue set with stars on it.

"I think that this time I'll leave you alone so you can get a feel of it." Mason said.

"What? I thought it was caregiver little. How the hell am I supposed to know what to do?"

"Well you're not comfortable with me being around you, right? Exactly," he said when I grimaced, "and it's on you to go into little space. I can help by making you feel comfortable but if you don't feel safe then, if anything, I'll make it harder for you. If you need anything you can ask.

"You can just get into comfortable clothes and color a page in a coloring book or watch an appropriate movie. Oh and try not to think too much, it helps to focus on the one thing you're doing."

Mason left and I just stood there. This felt so weird, like someone was watching me and the second I start doing what he said then they'll laugh at how stupid I look. Is that why he said not to think too much? To distract me from what's actually happening? Maybe this really was a ploy to get back at me. Well now what do I do?

"Why are you panicking?" I yelped in surprise as Mason came into the room.

"I knew it, you're watching me!"

"What? No, I could tell from your face. You don't have to worry so much. I'm here if you ever need anything or want help with this sort of thing. That's my job." He smiled softly.

He seemed so genuine it made my anxiety disappear completely. "Then... can you show me where the colored pencils are?" I mumbled. I guess it was stupid to worry so much. After all, Eli confirmed that thing about cgl and I doubt he would do it just to fuck with me. He doesn't have any reason to be mad at me. I mean, I think.

I followed what Mason said and reluctantly changed into the dumb kiddie pjs we got, looking around the room for any hidden cameras just in case. I laid on the bed I had slept on when I was staying here. I kind of missed it. Because it was so comfy, obviously.

I colored in a page of a cat in a garden. After a while I was focused on the coloring page and everything around me seemed silent. I felt so aware of my own breathing.

"Hey." I looked up at Mason standing in the doorway, "It's been about an hour. How are you doing?"

"What? There's no way. You're lying." I only colored two and part of another page in the book, that wouldn't have taken an hour.

"Nope, it's been a little over an hour. If you didn't notice that's good, isn't it? You must have been really relaxed." A glimmer of hope sparkled in his eyes.

"Yeah, I guess. I told Eli I would be getting back." I mumbled.

"I told him you were over. He said it's all good. Not that you'd need his approval or anything."

I would normally freak out that Mason is gossiping about me with Eli. It felt weird that I didn't feel the urge to say anything.

"Do you want to stay over just for the night? You seem really tired." He laughed.

I sighed and agreed. I glanced at my phone and saw it was around 9:00. I guess he really wasn't lying. How could I have zoned out like that? This cgl thing works wonders, I feel more relaxed now than I have for years.

"Next time we can work on sorting out rules and such."

"Hey, who said there'll be a next time?" I snapped.

"Your face did. Unless smiling means you hate something." I rolled my eyes at his dumb comment and yawned. "You can get to sleep. I'll be in my room if you need anything." He left and I tried to get comfortable, but I didn't feel right. I stayed up pretty late last night so I was tired, but it was like I couldn't find the right position.

"Ah I forgot I had this." Mason had come into the room and handed me the frog plush we got earlier. I felt a weird wave of happiness and hugged the round frog. He chuckled and said, "you really like frogs, huh?"

"Shut up! It's just because I normally have a hug pillow." I blushed. I'm not gonna let him make fun of me and Bean. Yes, I named him Bean, it fits him and I do what I want, okay?

"Alright, alright. See you in the morning, Ace." Mason closed the door behind him. It was kind of unnerving how Mason always knew what I was thinking. Unnerving but oddly comforting. I feel like this could work.
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