Void - Ninjago x Female Reader

Chapter 65: Existential crisis and a rendezvous

(Second person POV)

(Time skip - 1 day)

Wiping away the water that rolled down your face in big fat drops like the tears you were unable to shed, you let out a deep sigh before tossing the towel onto its hanging wrack, leaning over the sink that swirled with an inky black liquid. It was that weird substance that kept dripping from your hands, unable to be stopped no matter what you did. It was like... a mark, a permanent stain on your body that showed you had been tainted by a filth that couldn't be scrubbed off no matter how hard you tried.

With another exhale, you tiredly glanced into the mirror that was glued above the basin, a stranger with bleak, almost dead eyes staring back at you, lips thin with exhaustion. ...I... barely look anything like my old self... you muttered, raising a hand to trace the figure's features, pausing as your index finger hovered over the scar under her right cheekbone, the real final thing your Sensei had left you, one that, even when your trinkets and memories wither away, would remain, marking you and proving his influence on you forever.

Then, a familiar set of words echoed throughout the room, or perhaps just in your head, loud enough to drown out the rushing of the tap and make you grit your teeth, hands clamping over your ears in anguish as you stared down at the person staring back at you in the water, her eyes wide with pain and... fear...

"He's just using you," the Catherine next to you murmured, a silhouette of darkness that had risen from the corners of the dimly lit room, "He doesn't love you... He's just making you his perfect puppet to play around with..."

"...Shut up..." you hiss, nails starting to dig into your scalp as you tried to drown out her words with something — anything.

"You know I'm right..." she whispers, floating to your other side like some sort of jittery film, leaving afterimages trailing behind like an overly attached ghost. "Why else would he just leave like that? Why else would he not tell you where he's going? Why else would he never see you again other than in your head?"

"Shut up!" you snarl, whipping your body around and swiping at your right where the shadow of the lady stood a mere moment ago.

"...Why continue to deny it?" she asked, unaffected by your attack that phased right through her, "Why not admit that you have nothing other than him to live for?"

"I have other stuff to live for!" you snap, just barely containing your anger, "I have Dart-"

"Whom you never take or talk with anymore because she reminds you too much of your time with that man."

"-My allies-"

"Whom you plan to betray as soon as you can to find that man."

"-And-" Cutting yourself off, you swallowed the words you were about to say, making the silhouette finish for you.

"And me whom you insulted and gaslighted and never want to see again. You certainly do seem like you have a lot to live for."

Gritting your teeth, you lowered your hands, clenching them on the sides of the sink as you silently admitted that this version of Catherine was correct. Not only did you push everyone away in your search for your teacher, but you also refuse to create any new connections, justifying it as 'focusing all your energy on searching for him.'

But... if he really was using you, that would mean that you shouldn't be searching for him to be under his control again, right? So... then isn't everything you've been doing for the past year completely pointless? Everything from waking up at four in the morning to creating these... placebo relationships were all to find your teacher and return to the way you were before. If you were to stop trying to look for him, then you would be admitting that you just wasted a whole year, one that you would never be able to get back and even possibly your future.