I Want What I Can't Have

Torture In The Capitol

The lights were blinding. It took me a few minutes to adjust. I felt ill as my head pounded. I looked around and saw I was in a room? A cell? It was completely white. Pristine. That was apart from the thick metal bars adjoining to the cell beside. As I looked to my left I was horrified as I saw Peeta. He never made it out.

"You're alive," he smiled.

"You never got out," I murmured, "I'm sorry."

"Neither did you," he pointed out.

"But you should've," I sighed.

"You were in on the plan," Peeta said, "Johanna told me."

"Yeah," I murmured.

"Thank you, thank you for saving Katniss," he said, a hint of happiness in his voice.

"Who was the last cannon?" I asked.

"Brutus," he said, "I killed him when he stabbed Beetee."

"And Finnick?" I asked.

"I can only assume he's alive," Peeta said.

I breathed a small breath of relief when he said that.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"The Capitol, you've been out for two days," he explained, "Johanna and Enobaria are here too."

"Have they done anything to you?" I asked.

"Not much....yet," Peeta said, "but I can only assume this won't get any better."

"They have us for a reason if that's what you mean," I said quietly.

"They sure do," came a familiar voice.

I whipped my head around to see Johanna.

"Jo!" I exclaimed in relief.

"They got to me before I found him," she said quietly, "I think he got out though."

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Okay as I can be in a Capitol prison cell," she laughed.

"Has Snow-" I began.

"No," she replied, "not yet anyway."

"What are we going to do?" I asked.

"No point in trying to escape. It's next to impossible," Peeta murmured.

"We're not giving them any information," I said, lowering my tone.

"I knew and still know virtually nothing," he replied.

"And that's how it's going to stay," I said.

"We can't risk anything," Johanna added quietly.

"Where's Enobaria then," I asked.

"She's not in a cell," Johanna laughed, "she's being held captive, well I say that, but she's really just living a little luxury. Higher grade cell because District 2 is 'oh so loyal' to the Capitol and Snow so lucky her because she's quite well off."

"Great," I scoffed.

"They feed her, clothe her, like for God's sake! I'm sat here in my game clothes smelling like ten men who ran a marathon with no deodorant on, covered in who knows who's blood, starving and needing to piss," she ranted.

"Aren't we living the luxury," I joked.

"Oh yes," she chuckled.

We fell into a comfortable silence before I had the urge to ask her something.

"How long do you think until they start?" I questioned.

"Who knows? When Snow fancies," Johanna snorted.

"Start what?" Peeta asked.

"The torture," I replied sadly.

***
I was cold. I was dirty. I was hungry. I was thirsty. I was covered in blood, my own and other's. I felt more alone than ever. I realise now why the Capitol designed cells such as these. They made you feel this way on purpose. The white walls, so perfectly sitting there, would eventually drive us mad. I didn't talk to Peeta much after our previous conversation. He was trying to sleep so he could forget it all. I couldn't sleep. Not now. Not even if I tried to drug myself. I felt so deprived of everything. Of life. Of love. Of health. My whole life has been a trauma show for Snow to watch with his popcorn in hand.

"Do you think we're getting out of here?" I murmured.

"To be honest, no," Jo said, "that President Coin doesn't give a fuck about us. If we are reduced it's because the 'mockingjay' can't function without Peeta."

I sighed.

"Like Peeta said before, there's not even a chance of us escaping ourselves," she continued, "so don't you dare be thinking that. Peacekeepers everywhere, guarding every entrance and exit. We are weaponless and useless against them."

"Well there goes that idea," I replied dismally.

Making us jump, the bolt on the door suddenly slid to the left making a loud clanging noise. A peacekeeper entered the room, more following behind him.

"That one," he breathed pointing towards the cell.

Immediately the other peacekeepers flicked around Johanna's cell, unlocking in and yanking her up into their arms. She said nothing and did nothing. She laid their lifeless lay as she was carried from the room. No resistance, no swearing, no kicking. She knew there was no use in using her energy.

"Leave her!" I yelled, "take me, please!"

The peacekeepers laughed, "don't worry honey, we'll be back for you and the boy. Everyone gets a turn."

Fear stuck Peeta's face. It deepened as a peacekeeper approached him and slapped him around the face, so his nose began to bleed.

"HEY!" I yelled, "leave him."

"Oh girlie, you're picking a fight with the wrong sort of people," he said.

"Maybe you are," I challenged.

"Leave her," the leader figure said, "we'll just have to make her torture ten times worse."

They left the room with Johanna. Once he had finally gotten himself together he said, "where are they taking her?"

"To be tortured for information," I said, "we were expecting it. They need to know where Katniss is and about the rebels' plans. Obviously we're telling them nothing, you can't anyway. I don't know what method of torture they're using but I know it's going to be brutal. Let's just say we're not going to look too pretty coming out of this one."

"Will they kill us?" He asked.

"Not yet, they still need us," I murmured, "I'm sorry Peeta, I really am. I tried to get you out. I really did."

"I know," he said softly, "but it's all going to be okay."

And what hurt the most is that I really, really wanted to believe him.

***
THE CAPITOL ARE EVILLLL 😡😡
Thanks for reading xx