Azmaish-e-Ishq

Ch. 25: Healing Isn't Linear

Author's Note

Hi! I just wanted to give a warning that Heer has a breakdown in the middle of the chapter that includes her low thoughts, which may be triggering for some people. Please skip that part if you feel it would be better for you. I apologize if it seems Heer's low moments seem repetitive, but the purpose of including them is to reflect the title of the chapter and show the reality that for some, moving past something that impacts you so deeply isn't necessarily a linear process. Healing is a journey and it takes time.

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Heer's P.O.V.

His fallen expression matched the dimmed light in his eyes as he looked at me, "Live here and there?"

I continued hesitantly, "Yeah. It's just that, you're gone most of the day and I don't have much to do at home. I don't really know anyone else here either. I know I can get a job, but it's just that I love working at Hayat and I really miss it."

His gaze lowered. And I could tell he didn't like the idea.

"It was just on my mind and I wanted to tell you. I don't have to," I added quickly. "I am fine here. Like I said, it was just an idea I had. If you don't-"

He cleared his throat, searching my eyes, "How would that work? I mean, how long would you be here and how long would you stay there?"

"I was thinking a week here and then a week there."

"Wouldn't that be hard?"

His question made my frame shrink.

It wasn't going to happen, I guess. As my best friend and husband, I respected him enough to not forcefully do something that he evidently didn't approve of. It seems I will just have to visit Manchester every few weeks instead.

But when he continued, hope began to spread within me. "You would barely get any rest if you're traveling every weekend," he wet his lips, pausing for a moment, "It would have to be two weeks, otherwise you'll be exhausted before the week starts."

My eyes widened, my lips parted with surprise. "You're okay with it?"

He gave me a small smile, tilting his head, "You didn't work so hard to open Hayat just to be away from it. It was your dream for the longest time. I watched you work for years to save up money for it. I remember the blood and tears that went into opening it. How could I not be okay with what you love?"

I lunged for him, enveloping him in a tight hug, squealing happily, "Salaar!" He fell on to his back with me on top of him. He paused for a moment then wrapped his arms around me firmly, burying his face in my neck while I gushed, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

I heard him chuckle quietly before rest his head on the rug to look at my face with soft eyes. "What are you thanking me for?"

"I didn't think you would agree," I answered, grinning.

"Your happiness is what's important to me, Heer. If you're happy, then so am I," he then spoke softly, his fingers brushing some of my hair behind my ear, "But I'm really going to miss you. I've gotten used to coming back home to you every day. It's what I look forward to the most."

A warmth spread through my chest at his words.

"I'll miss you too..." I lowered my voice, "I won't do it if you-"

He lifted an eyebrow, "Sherni toh tum thi, mujhe chuha kehti thi. Ab toh tum hi chuhein jaisi-"
(You used to be a lioness, calling me the mouse. Now you yourself act like mice-)