Middled Aged Actors : One Shots

5 more minutes

Ally x reader
Tw: SH, depression
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Me and ally have be together for over 2 years now and I couldn't be happier with her . We met at the restaurant, I was just a server but we clicked instantly and she made the first move by asking me out and we've been together ever since .

But for a while now my anxiety and depression has been creeping back up on me, it's just always feels like a shadow on my shoulders feeding me these feelings that I can't control. It pains me so much because the shadow tells me all these lies that I try to fight and try to ignore but the past week they've been really eating me up .
I haven't told ally because she's got so much work going on at the moment, especially as she is now senator.

I'm currently waiting for ally to finish work and come home, she was gone before I woke up and it's currently 5pm and she still hasn't contacted me .
I've been in bed basically all day except for water and going to the toilet but even that I was finding a struggle. I just had so many thoughts running round my head
"You're not good enough for her, you're a sad girl who can't even be happy when she has a perfect life. Ally deserves more than you . You aren't enough for her. You're useless. You're a waste of space ."
These thoughts just seemed to be playing on a loop in my head the whole day , I just got to a breaking point I couldn't take the pain anymore I couldn't fight the urge any longer .

I had been clean for over a year now and even back then ally never really knew the extent of the problems I just never wanted to be a burden .
But right now this was all I could think to do , I manage to drag myself out of bed into the bathroom I took one of the razors and smashed it into pieces , leaving the blades free.
Before I could even rethink what I was doing , I was sat on the floor blade in my hand gliding it across my thigh. 1 cut turned into 2 which proceeded to 3 and so on, by the time I stopped I couldn't even see how many I had done. My eyes were foggy from all the tears I had shed and my leg was just a blur of red.

During this I hadn't heard the door go as ally had come home early .
I was still sat on the floor tears just falling down my face, no realisation of the world around me .
I only came round when I felt a hand on my shoulder and ally's voice breaking my trance.
"Oh god (y/n) babe. What happened" she whispers out as she started to well up .
I turn to her and just breakdown,
"Ally. I-I I'm so sorry" I whisper out
"I just couldn't think straight and my mind took over . I'm so sorry"
"It's okay. It's okay babe" ally says picking me up bridal style and carrying me to our bed.
"Give me a second I'll be right back" she kisses my forehead and goes back into the bathroom to get a warm damp cloth to clean my leg with.
"This may hurt a little but I need to clean you up okay" she says holding my hand.
"Ok" I choke out .
She begins wiping over my leg, i wince a little at the pain but she helped make it easier as she held my hand the whole time and reassured me throughout .
I had completely zoned out by the time she finished and came back to as I felt her sit beside me and take my hands in hers.
"Darling, talk to me .I-I, what happened"she says with tears running down her face.
"Ally I -I'm so sorry. I just. I" I tried to get out my words but I just felt like such a failure.
"(Y/n) listen to me whatever you're thinking isn't true . Please tell me what's wrong"
"I just had all these thoughts and they wouldn't go ally I really tried to push them down but they just got louder so I just went to the first thing I thought would stop the emotional pain . I'm sorry" I whisper out the last bit as I sit blank faced, feeling numb .
"Oh baby why didn't you ring me ?, I would of come home . How long has this been going on ?. Oh (y/n) I'm sorry" ally begins rambling questions but I just place a gentle kiss on her lips to calm her down .
"Ally listen to me this has nothing to do with you please don't feel like that. It's been getting worse again the past few months and I just didn't want to burden you, you're so busy with your job which I'm so proud of you for and please don't apologise there's nothing to apologise for . If anything I'm sorry I never wanted you to see me like this"
"I just wish you had said something . But it's only up from here darling I promise you , and I'll be here every step of the way" ally says smiling through her tears.
I kiss her with pure love and admiration whispering out a thank you in between.

I pulled away from the kiss and climbed onto ally's lap straddling her, longing to just be close to her. Our foreheads touching as our eyes were shut, just enjoying each others company .
I whisper out, as I stare into her eyes
"If there was 5 more minutes, of air, would you panic and hide? Or run for your life ? Or stand here and spend it with me. If we had 5 more minutes. Would I? could I? make you happy"
We both tear up a bit but fall back into a passionate kiss that just clears my mind of any thought or any memory of what just happened .
The kiss gets more intimate and passionate ally holding me carefully.
"Please ally" I whisper against her lips just wanting to feel something , just wanting to fall away from what has happened .

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An: sorry if this is a bit different than usual thought I'd try something new. Lmk what u guys think