Senior Year

Chapter One

FIRST DAY
POV: Haven

I hate god. He took something for me that wasn't up for grabs. He took my rock. The one thing I had to fall back on when times got tough. He took my parents from me. I'm numb. Grieving is a different kind of pain. It's nothing like a skinned knee or a broken arm. It's emptiness, anger, depression, and loss all wrapped in one with a big bow on top.

Today's the first day of school and I'm the carpool for my brother and cousins. My aunt has pretty much checked out since my mother passed. It was hard on all of us, but my aunt spiraled.

She drinks to numb herself. My uncle on the other hand has been working his ass off to pay for everything. He's great. I watch my brother and my cousins for both of them.

My uncle pays is paying for my gas. I have to drive to two different schools then soccer and basketball after school. My little brother Cade and my cousins Holden and Hayden all go to elementary school.

"Make sure to take them to practice," my aunt says sticking a cigarette in her mouth while holding her glass of wine. She's the poster woman for a midlife crisis.

I nod vigorously while stuffing lunch boxes into each kid's backpack. I barley had time to get my own school supplies ready. All I have is a notebook and a pencil. No 3-ringed binder or highlighters galore.

This morning I only brushed my hair and cleaned my teeth, throwing on sweats and a sweatshirt despite the August weather. Bags under my eyes were evident, although I can't find myself covering them.

I picked out all the boy's outfits for the day and left no room for my own. I didn't care to. I have no back-to-school jitters. My stomach isn't in knots and my palms aren't sweaty. I'm void of any happiness or excitement. They are buried deep inside and I can't seem to find them no matter how hard I try.

The boys pile in my Nissan and we head off in the direction of their school. When we arrive Cade kisses me on the cheek while my twin cousins give me quick hugs and run off to the other kids in the front of the building. I plaster a smile I can muster up and wave before I drive off.

On the way to my school is silent. No children giggling in the back or music playing softly. Just my breathing and the sound of my engine. Teenage drivers are idiots. I saw two of them pulled over with the bumpers smashed. I shiver at the sight of broken glass along the road.

I get cut off twice before making it into the school parking lot. I find one of the last spaces before throwing my backpack over my shoulders and exiting my car.

My brown hair bloods across my face and the wind whirls down the parking lot. My head is already hot from the sun by the time I make it into school. Immediately all eyes are drawn to me. I try to ignore it as I trudge down the hallway. I haven't spoken to anyone from school since my parents' deaths. Although, many people reached out with their condolences.

I had friends, well used to have friends. They were all a part of my ballet class. We've known each other since we were kids. We were all close until I stopped turning up to practice. Some still said hi to me when they saw me, but other than that there wasn't much to say. One of my close friends, Hannah texted me over the summer until she stopped. She made friends higher on the food chain, leaving me at the bottom alone.

I used to be comfortable in my own skin. My friends loved me and my positivity. And I dreamed of Landon Adams. We also grew up together and he made my heart beat out of my chest. Now that I pass him in the halls there's no flutter of butterflies in my stomach. Or sweat making palms wet. There's nothing.

When I turn the corner I'm ambushed. "Oh my god! You poor thing! How are you holding up?" Sadie holds my shoulders while Hannah and Cora stand at her side of her. Sadie is a bitch and always has been. She's so full of herself. And Cora is like my last brain cell. I can't believe Hannah is friends with them. They used to call her fat and a slut.

Sadie looks around to make sure everyone knows how sweet and caring she is before she pulls me into a hug. "I'm so sorry about your parents!" She shouts. I feel my anger rising, bubbling to the surface, I'm about to burst.

"Get the fuck off me," I snap and push the skinny brunette off of me. She stumbles back as Hannah looks at me wide-eyed.

"What the hell is your problem?" Sadie exclaims when she regains her balance.

I roll my eyes at her. "You're my fucking problem! Touch me again and I swear to god," I say as adrenaline rushes through me. What is wrong with me?

"I'm surprised you didn't like it lesbo," Cora says giggling. Before I can stop myself I lunge at her. A hard body stops me.

"Hey, break it up!" A man yells. I stumble back to see the Vice Principal Mr. Davis. A crowd has formed around us with their phones out. People are yelling WorldStar. "To my office! All of you!"

I snarl and unball my fists. I've never been a violent person. Everything Sadie or Cora said to me went right over my head, but now I find myself being cut by every word.

I shove throw the crowd of people that formed during my outbreak and march my way into the office with Mr. Davis hot on my tail. He points to his room and I plop down onto the seat.

Throughout all of my teenage years I've never been rebellious or anything of the sort. I've never sat in the principal's office.

Mr. Davis shuts the door behind him and takes a seat in his squeaky, rolling chair. "What's your name miss?" He asks while he types on his keyboard. Of course, he doesn't know my name. Nobody does. Or I guess used to.

"Haven Collins," I say begrudgingly. Mr. Davis' eyes widen in acknowledgment. When the accident happened it was all over the news. There were news channels outside my Aunt's house for weeks.

"I see. I'm very sorry for your loss," he says and I stiffen. I nod and wait for him to continue. "What happened with miss Sadie?" He prods.

"She started hugging me for attention so I shoved her off of me. And her dumb friend Cora called me a Lesbo," I say monotone.

Mr. Davis nods. "I'll speak with her, but you should never let anyone get under your skin like that. Violence is never the answer."

I find myself getting even more annoyed. "I was minding my business and Sadie was antagonizing me," I state matter-of-factly.

"I understand that your going through a lot right now. I'll send an email to your teachers, but I don't want to see this happen again. I admire you for standing up for yourself, but if you're in an altercation with another student I will have to suspend you."

I rub my temples and groan. This is not how I thought my first day was going to turn out. I don't even know who I am anymore.

When first period begins and the teacher begins the syllabus I completely zoned out. The clock ticks as music blasts through my headphone that's tucked in my ear.

"Okay class, we're going to do some introductions. I know most of you seniors know each other, but I don't know you. Say your name then a fun fact about you." Everything Mrs. Hudson says goes in one and out the ear.

A few minutes pass by and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn my head to see Mrs. Hudson looking at me in question. I take my earbud out of my ear. "Huh?" I ask while furrowing my brows.

"Your name and something about yourself," Mrs, Hudson says standing up straight.

"Haven Collins and my favorite color is blue." I talk loud enough for the teacher and the people around me to hear.

Mrs. Hudson hums and then taps on my desk. "No phones in class. Next time it will be on my desk." I nod in understanding, but as soon as she turns her back, in my ear, it goes.