Chasing Char<3 (One Direction/Louis Tomlinson Fan-Fiction)

Chapter TwentyThree

Chapter 23:

‘Oops’ I whisper: got a bit too close there. A soft breeze sweeps through the lace layers of my dress, making it swish around my thighs, carrying my whisper away. I tuck my hair behind my ears in an attempt to watch the view uninterrupted, failing as the slight waves are disrupted from behind. The exposure of my neck makes me shiver, not just from the wind- but the feeling that I was being watched, other than by the surveillance cameras.  I don’t know why they let me up here this late at night. Maybe it was the state of my face, what with the emptiness I have felt since I left the room with Louis filling every pore.  Oh God that’s soppy. But true…

Or maybe I scared them; anyway no-one challenged me as I entered the building.

The view below me is indescribable, well to me at least. Everything other than my life seems beautiful right now, and the lights spanning out around glitter in wonder, they might’ve outdone the stars if you could see them here.

The scent around me is odd; I noticed it when I first walked out of the lift. A mixture of fresh air, always being stirred by the wind, and of New York, wafting up from the streets. Things like pine from the park and hot dog stands. But I also smelt something very strange a minute ago; it was there and then it went again, as though the person carrying it appeared only for a brief second. It was a very familiar smell, and a comforting one at that: everything I needed and didn’t need at this moment.

I take off my heels, settling myself on the edge with my legs swinging out over the building- my grasp on a bar above my head. Once comfortable I sigh, a little out of relief as I wasn’t very confident with those shoes on: but also out of exhaustion. I did them justice: at least I hope I did. With the show I mean, it was incredible up to where I saw it. They seemed so happy, holding onto the experience as a sort of desperation hit them as they realised it was ending. But it was a happy desperation, and definitely not one of loss. The only one losing something tonight was me, silly old me with my insecurities. I long for Louis, my desperation is for him to hold me again, but I stand by my decision.

You can’t even hope to understand it unless you go through it. I love him so much that I must let go, otherwise I will only hurt myself more. My love for him contends that of my Grandpa, and that scares me like you wouldn’t know. I will hold him back, I will ruin him if he lets me anywhere near him again, because with me comes a risk. A risk that means at any moment I could just break down and bring what’s around me down to.

A sudden sound below brings me out of a sort of daze in which I seem to always find myself and suddenly my foothold slips on the bar below me. I grab onto the bar above me but find my body tugged with its own weight over the edge. My hands begin to slip with the sweat of the arena I failed to wash off and I begin to realise how stupid I am:

‘Help!’ Why the fuck would I come up here at this time of night, alone?

‘Help!’ I’m 443 metres up, flailing and helpless, you’re so stupid Char.

‘Please, anyone?’ My voice falters, tears choking my only means of summoning help. I look to the cameras in desperation and I can only hope somebody is on their way. I begin to give myself up, to think this is all I was meant for but then a comforting sound comes from behind me. The sounds of somebody sprinting, the heavy thuds of footfalls in quick succession on the metal floor.

‘Fuck, Char?’ The sight of Louis sprinting out from the shadows, still clad in a tux, is enough to content me as my last finger slips from the pole. I close my eyes, waiting for the impact which won’t take long.

-

But before I can even think this my body swings painfully into the building and the warm, firm grasp on my wrist tightens. I uselessly scramble my limbs, trying to gain a hold and help but to no fruition, I flail about, screaming and crying at the inevitability of my fall.

‘You’re not going anywhere Char.’ my body is tugged painfully over the ledge and up onto the building, landing on top of Louis before I roll off to the side, clutching my chest.

-

We lie there for a minute, our heavy breathing the only sounds.

‘How did you find me?’

‘That’s the first thing you have to say?’ he challenges, angrily.

‘It’s what I want to know first.’ I reply,

‘Ciara knew where to find you. She thought you’d be in one of two places; the park or on top of your building, she also said the park would be more dangerous so she took all the others there. She was wrong about that.’ He says, referencing what just happened. ‘But you weren’t on top of your building.

‘So then how did you know to come here?’ I question,

‘You always loved really high places- especially when you need to think.’ He shrugs, ‘And you mentioned it once.’

‘Why did you come and find me?’ I say bitterly,

‘I thought you might be a bit more grateful after I just saved your life.’ He spits,

‘Do you know how hard that goodbye was?’ I whimper as the tears began to fall, he rolls over, propping himself up on his elbow as he looks at me. His breath fans out in a mist over me as he sighs.

‘Why char? Why do you make our lives so difficult?’ He stands up, holding out a hand to me which I take hesitantly. He spins me round gently, hand on my lower back and points an arm out, guiding my gaze.

‘You see the arena?’ he whispers, returning his gaze to my face as I look where he says. I nod. ‘Right there is where many people are waiting to hear where you are and whether you’re okay.’ I gasp as he buries his face into my hair.

‘The devastation you would cause if you left for good? I can’t even imagine because so many people love you char.’

‘Louis.’ I sigh,

‘I’m not letting you run away again. I love you Char, and I know you love me: isn’t that enough reason to give it a shot?’

I think, because this is what it all comes down to. He saved my life, more than once: both literally and physically. I owe him a lot, but it’s not about owing. Why didn’t I see this, all along… you can’t run away from love. Louis has been chasing me for a long time. Long enough that I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten tired of it yet. I don’t think he will ever give up, and I don’t think I want him to. But I do think that I think too much, because it goes without saying how much I love him and what this means, and it’s only me who isn’t realising this. In this time Louis had pulled away from holding me:

 ‘Louis.’

‘Yes?’

‘Yes.’

‘What?’

‘Yes. It’s worth it.’ I didn’t hesitate to slam my lips against his.

The last time this happened, the last time I had the need to say yes to one of Louis requests, I called it the most cliché moment of my life. I didn’t expect back then to be standing on top of the Empire State building, 50 or so blocks from my apartment in New York City, locking lips with the boy who I love.

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(there should be another update either today or tomorrow :)