Lovers Not Without Sin | Dutch van der Linde x OC

Chapter 49

It's dark out when Ada pulls her eyes open, following the sensation of calloused fingertips tracing lines on her back.

"Dutch?" she whispers, angling her chin over her shoulder and he hums in response without stilling his motions. "Why aren't you asleep?"

"Thinking," is all he mutters.

"Well, stop," she places her hand on his waist to pull him to her. He obliges slightly, but his fingers continue their path. She sighs, opening her mouth to persuade him further when he interrupts.

"I'm going to kill Colm."

Ada's body tenses and she shifts to find a hardened expression on his face as his eyes remain focused on her back. She turns to face him fully and he blinks at her once her scars are out of sight and she lowers herself to lie facing him. "Dutch," she begins, unsure about the destination for her words.

"I'm doing it, Ada," he affirms. "Maybe not right away, but when I find him..." his gaze wanders slightly and she watches as some sort of film rolls over his eyes, something that seems to confirm his words and thoughts.

Truthfully, Ada isn't opposed to the idea. Thinking about what he did isn't something she does by choice, but when allowing herself to do so it doesn't take long before she wishes a nasty fate to befall him. Her hesitation comes from Dutch being the one to do it, what it would mean for him, and for the rest of the gang. Knowing how easy it is for her lover to get sucked into an idea doesn't provide a bright outlook for their future if it turns out he can't let it go. "Then I'm doing it with you." She'd hoped her tone would be more assertive than it is.

"No."

"Dutch -"

"No," he snarls, and Ada can visibly see his blood run hot before he wills it to run cold and takes a breath. "No," he repeats, bringing his eyes back to meet hers and holding his hand to the side of her face.

"I'm not asking."

"If you think for one second, I'm letting you put yourself in any form of danger, let alone danger that involves Colm, you've got another thing coming."

Ada moves up to support herself with her elbow, scowling down at the man lying beside her. "And if you think for one second that I'm going to sit in camp for the rest of my life because you're scared, then you've got another thing coming too."

His jaw ticks at her words, head beginning to shake to prepare for his next retort when he swallows. "This isn't your fight. Colm, at least, isn't your fight."

"Not my fight?" she scoffs, "he did this to me."

"It runs deeper than just you, Ada," Dutch warns softly and she flicks her eyes down in reluctant understanding.

"I know that," she murmurs. "And I'm not telling you not to go after revenge," she sighs as she looks back at him, "but I'm still a part of this. I just want to be there, you said yourself you're not doing anything right away anyway."

His expressionless eyes wash over with sadness and he turns his frame to face upwards. "I don't want to drag you, or anyone, into this. It's not how we do things but... I have to do it."

Ada lays her hand on his chest tentatively. "Okay. I get it. But I'm still coming."

He squeezes his eyes shut and decompresses his chest. "I wasn't even close to finding you," when he opens his eyes an anger resides there that hadn't done so when he shut them. "You'd have died." She's about to reassure him when he continues talking. "Perhaps you should've gone for John in the first place."