Chapter 33 - Realization

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Toni
I sat at the table and waited. He was coming. I was so anxious to see him that my leg was shaking. There was a buzzing sound at the door. I saw him come out. They brought him over and chained him to the table. "Hi, daddy." He smiled.

"Hey, baby girl. You're a sight for sore eyes. I missed you."

"Really?"

"Of course. You're my princess." My heart jumped.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. I love you."

"You do?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I clapped.

"Am I allowed to hug you?"

"Yes, I made sure that when you were put on the visitors list that we were allowed to have contact. Come here." I got up and hugged him. His hands slowly moved down to my butt.

"I love you, daddy."

"I love you too, princess." He sat down and pulled me into his lap. "So tell daddy what's wrong. I can see you're upset."

"Yeah. I've been struggling since they put you here."

"Why?"

"Because I'm trying to understand why you did all those bad things to us. You didn't used to do that before."

"I know, baby girl. I don't know why I did those things, especially to you." He slowly rubbed my thigh. "You were always daddy's favorite."

"Really?"

"Yes." I smiled and he kissed my cheek. He turned my head and connected our lips. He brushed his tongue against my mouth and I opened it. This is wrong. This is so wrong. He's my father. But it felt right. Why did it feel like this was okay?

His hand went up my skirt and moved my panties to the side. I felt his fingers start to rub me. Suddenly, I pulled away. "What's wrong, baby girl?" His fingers continued to touch me.

"I don't know." I'm so conflicted. I felt good but I felt like I had already been through this before. 

"What's wrong, baby girl?" The 13 year old looked at her father.
"You're touching my parts again."
"I know, we're going to play the married game again."
"Okay."
"But this time you're going to sit on daddy's lap."
"Why?"
"Well, you know how you had daddy part inside of you last night?"
"Yep, you laid on top of me."
"This time you are going to be on top of daddy with my part inside of you."
"Okay."

I looked at my father. I remembered how he used to touch me and hug and kiss Me. I always felt safe. So why is now any different.

The 13 year old stood naked in front of her father who was stroking himself while staring at her. He was obviously aroused as he motioned his daughter to him. "Come on, princess."

"Come on, princess." My breathing increased.

The 13 year old approached her father. He grabbed her waist and held her over his lap. "Daddy, I'm scared."

"Daddy, I'm scared."

"Don't worry princess, you can trust me." He eased his daughter onto his member. Tears ran down the girl's face  at the sharp pain.

"Princess, you know you can trust me. I would never hurt you."

The man bounces his daughter on him as he groans in pleasure.

My father pushed his fingers deeper inside of me and moved my waist around. 

The girl held onto her father's shoulders and watched his face twist in pleasure. "You feel so good, baby girl."

"Princess, you feel so good. Just how I remember."

She laid her head on her father's shoulder and cried silently. She didn't want to play anymore.

I jumped up from his lap. He stood and stared at me. "What's wrong, princess?"

"What's wrong, princess? Why are you crying?"
"I don't like this game anymore. Can we stop?"
"Not yet, sweetie. Daddy's almost done."

"Get away from me."
"But I missed you. Didn't you miss daddy?" I slowly backed away from him.

The girl cried harder as her father moaned in her ear while he released himself inside of her. At that moment, she didn't feel safe. She was scared.

"No. You hurt me."

"I would never hurt you."

"But you did. You hurt me. You had sex with me. You got me pregnant. You killed my baby!" My fathers face twisted.

"Listen, you belonged to me and you let that boy put his seed in you. I had to get rid of it."

"Why?"

"Because I'm the only man you were supposed to give yourself to. You broke our promise. No one touches your no-no parts but me." He grabbed me by my arms and pulled me into him. "Why'd you break our promise, Toni? Didn't we have fun?"

"No! You had fun! I was in pain and bleeding."

"Only in the beginning. Did you not enjoy it later?"

"I didn't know any better. I thought what we were doing was right."

"It felt right, Toni."

"Well, not anymore. You're a monster."

"No! I'm daddy. You love me and I love you."

"You are a sick bastard. Who treats their daughter like their wife?"

"Why did you let me?!" Tears came to my eyes. This is what Janet was talking about. He is a monster. He always was. I pushed him off of me.

"Get away from me!" Guards came out and held him as he tried to get to me. I stood in the corner as they took him away.

My heart rate increased and I couldn't breathe. "Toni!" I looked up and saw Janet. I ran to her.

"Janet! I'm so sorry. I shouldn't listen to you." I cried into her chest.

"It's okay sweetie. You needed this." We walked out to the waiting area and sat down. My therapist, Mikey, Maggie, and Toy were there.

"Why didn't I see it? Why couldn't I believe it?"

"Because you didn't want to." The therapist said. "You wanted to believe that there was a part of him that was good, even if it was a small part but he wasn't. He toyed with you."

"But why?"

"I suspect there was something in his childhood that caused him to become that way. Maybe your mother wasn't all he wanted so he created what he wanted in you. We'll never really know but what we do know is that you can heal from this. You have a great support system. We're all here for you."

"Thank you."

"She means that. We're all here but we can only do as much as you'll allow. You have to let us in. You have to talk to us." I nodded.

"Thanks so much guys." Tears fell from my eyes. I knew now that I really needed help. Like serious help because a part of me still wants to go after him but I can't. I know I can't.

I walked with Janet to her car. We were going to ride alone while the others took my car back. I loved Janet. She was the best thing ever. I knew I could get through this with her.

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No more sad chapters. I promise.

The book is coming to an end but there will be a sequel. It's going to focus more on Janet and Toni as a couple instead of their trauma.

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