an organized mess of redacted asmr

《 could he survive el payaso del rodeo? 》

this one goes out to my fellow beans

also hello, i'm still not dead

-

- D.A.M.N boys -

{damien}

- absolutely surviving for all four minutes. people get discouraged just by watching him

- he's more than satisfied with himself, doesn't even acknowledge how his ankles are throbbing

- so focused on dancing that he doesn't realize that he's heating up, so you gotta smack his arm as a reminder so he doesn't roast everyone alive

- very humble bragging 🙄

- "you guys couldn't keep up? guess i didn't notice while i was absolutely killing it back there.."

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{huxley}

- survives, but not because he's good at dancing

- literally bumps anyone within a three feet radius off the dance floor. there will be a paid healer on-site

- he's got spirit though

- can and will drag you to the dance floor even if he doesn't know what he's doing

- "c'mon, get up! you're dancing with me!"

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{lasko}

- poor man never stood a chance

- less than a minute in, you had to swoop in to save him from getting trampled over

- just so incredibly overstimulated by the time you manage to get him off of the dance floor

- hunched over in a chair, basically gasping for air while he chugs a bottle of water

- "never- *huff* make me- *huff huff* do that- *huff* eVER AGAIN."

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{gavin}

- survives, and looks good doing it

- he's been with his fair share of latino folk, so he knows a thing or two about dancing

- you lose pace because you're too busy staring at how his hips move

- god knew gavin would be too powerful if he spoke spanish

- "careful, deviant. you should focus your gaze elsewhere based on that look on your face."

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{caelum}

- not surviving, and he's taking the entire dance floor with him

- no one can see him, so his tiny spot looks empty

- once people start tripping over him, they start tripping others

- no one will be standing when the song ends, and caelum will just be confused

- "everyone kept stepping on me and it kinda hurt- hey, why is everyone on the floor?"

- the shaw pack -

{david}

- probably doesn't survive the first time, but he learns from his mistakes for next time

- you will have to pull every pouty face puppy-dog eyes combo you can just to get him out on the dance floor with you the first couple times

- after enough time, he doesn't even do it for you anymore- he's out to claim his own glory over el payaso del rodeo

- big strong alpha got beef with the bean music

- "i can do it, you snot. now shut up and let me concentrate."

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{asher}

- sure, he's a bumbling idiot most of the time, but he's surprisingly nimble on the dance floor

- he doesn't know how he's doing it either

- all you can do is watch in awe as he seemingly effortlessly glides with the crowd

- he's sweating buckets afterward though

- "babe! did ya see me out the- oof, yeah, maybe don't hug me right now."

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{milo}

- hot damn, he knows what he's doing

- he's having an absolute blast

- always somehow ends up in the middle at the end

- careful though, the abuelas are gonna start inviting him to dinner

- "sweetheart, i think i just got adopted by someone's aunt.."