an organized mess of redacted asmr

《 EVEN MORE incorrect quotes 》

requested by ShadowLombax28 <3

back by popular demand, incorrect-er and better than ever

filler chapters my beloved
—

- D.A.M.N boys -

{damien}

freelancer: how petty can you get?

damien: i once edited a wikipedia article to win an argument i was wrong about.

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{huxley}

huxley: a theif.

freelancer: thief?

huxley: theif.

freelancer: i before e, except after c.

huxley: thceif.

freelancer: no.

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{lasko}

lasko: what's your biggest weakness?

freelancer: i can be uncooperative.

lasko: can you give me an example?

freelancer: no.

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{gavin}

gavin: freelancer! my face is on fire!

freelancer: gavin! are you okay?!

gavin: oh yes, i'm fine. i just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.

freelancer: but your face is on fire.

gavin: yes. it's much faster than shaving.

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{caelum}

freelancer, in a meeting: my policy is if you see something, say something.

caelum: i saw a squirrel in a tree today!

freelancer, with the tone of someone who is used to caelum: outstanding.

freelancer: this is what i'm talking about people.

- the wolf pack -

{david}

david: i'm going to take you out.

angel: great, it's a date!

david: i meant that as a threat.

angel: see you at five!

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{asher}

*asher and babe are doing something absurdly dangerous*

asher: i think houdini did something like this once! why, if i recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!

babe, deadpan: well that's encouraging.

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{milo}

milo: you fuckers don't know about my knife stick. it's a knife taped to a stick and it's the ultimate weapon.

sweetheart, not looking up from their book: spear.

milo: BLOCKED.

- the solaire clan -

lovely: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let's go for 12 more just in case.

vincent: lovely, that's a coma.

lovely: sounds festive.

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{sam}

darlin': what's up guys? i'm back.

sam: what the- you can't be here. you're dead. i literally saw you die.

darlin': death is a social construct.

- empowered bois -

{elliott}

elliott: date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

sunshine: if anyone, and i mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{avior}

starlight: here's some advice.

avior: i didn't ask for any.

starlight: too bad. i'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me.

- unempowered bois -

{aaron}

aaron: *stubs his toe* FUCK!

smart ass: mind your language!

aaron: what else am i supposed to say, "woe is i"???

smart ass:

aaron: you have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{ollie}

ollie: i'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you.

baby: 10 times 0 is still 0 though.

ollie: jokes on you, i can't do math.

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{geordi}

geordi: change is inedible.

cutie: don't you mean inevitable?

geordi, spitting out coins: no, i did not.

- ʚ♡ɞ -

{marcus}

marcus: stop buying plastic skeletons for halloween! it's terrible for the environment!

love: yeah! locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!