"your little hand's wrapped around my finger
and it's so quiet in the world tonight
your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreamin'
so i tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
to you, everything's funny
you got nothing to regret
i'd give all i have honey
if you could stay like that
oh, darlin', don't you ever grow up
don't you ever grow up
just stay this little"
Nadine.
Four days after the funeral and our meeting at the diner, we set up a meeting at the nearest playground. The weather was supposed to be good, and there'd be plenty of other people and kids around to relieve some of the stress and anxiety this could cause every party.
Harry offered to tag along with Lennon, but I politely declined, assuring him that I think for the first time we're all together, it'd be best if it was Just Andie and I. I could tell it hurt him a little bit, so I reassured him by further explaining that I think it would be best if I was the one to explain to him one-on-one the relationship Harry and I have cultivated, and additionally that of Lennon's. He was really understanding after that.
I just felt like I owed it to Finn to be the one to tell him these things, rather him finding out through their presence. In my mind, it would be an added layer of pressure, another new adjustment he'd have to navigate, and I couldn't bear to put that on him.
He needs time to process everything, just as I do. We've both have a lot to catch up on, so it's unfair of me to throw him into the deep end for the first time and expect him to swim. Besides, I can handle Finn for a day.
"Mama, my tummy feels weird." Andie trots into my room, having just put on a mismatched pair of socks. One blue, the other red.
It makes sense, considering she's wearing a pair of blue denim overalls with a red t-shirt underneath.
"Oh no," I crouch down to her level, taking her hands in mine. "Is it a sick tummy?" She shakes her head. "Is it a hungry tummy?" She shakes her head again. "Is it a nervous tummy?" She shrugs her shoulders. "That's a big feeling, isn't it, my peach?"
Andie nods her head. "I don't like big feelings."
"Me neither. They make my tummy feel weird too." I admit to her, honestly.
Her face lights up. "They do?"
I nod my head. "Mama feels big feelings sometimes too. Do you want to know what helps me?" She nods her head. "I take a big breath in through my nose and blow it all out through my mouth. Do you wanna try that with me?"
She nods her head, so I count us off, and on three, we both inhale all the air we can through our noses. Immediately after, we blow all that air out our mouths, back into the atmosphere.
"Do you feel better?"
"Yeah." A smile graces her lips. "Can I do it again?"
"Of course, peach."
She takes the next deep breath by herself, keeping her eyes on mine for support. Once she's exhaled, a brighter smile forms on her face, carving the slightest dimples into her cheeks.
"I feel better now."
"Good. We don't want a weird feeling tummy, do we?" She shakes her head. "Now you know whenever you feel those big feelings, you can take a deep breath just like I told you and make it all better. Do you wanna help mama pick out her outfit today?"
Andie nods her head and runs over to my closet. Before I can even approach her, she's already sorting through everything. She's got this pensive look on her face, like she's really putting all her effort into making me the perfect outfit.
YOU ARE READING
the story of us |h.s.|
Fanfictionsingle mother nadine huron has lived in holmes chapel, cheshire all her life. it wasn't supposed to be like that, but when she found out she was pregnant, there was no reason for her to leave. she's spent the last four years busting her ass to give...
