the story of us |h.s.|

21 - afterglow*

"hey
it's all me in my head
i'm the one who burned us down
but it's not what i meant
sorry that i hurt you
i don't wanna do, i don't wanna do this to you
i don't wanna lose, i don't wanna lose this with you
i need to say, hey
it's all me, just don't go"

Nadine.

I forgot how fast time flies when you've got your life together.

When every aspect of your life falls into a rhythm, or a well-oiled machine–and one that works great at that.

My shifts have been ironed out. Blaire and I have worked tirelessly to figure out a schedule that works for both of us, seeing as my position is basically one step below hers. She was so kind to give me more morning shifts so I could have my nights "to spend however I please," which is just Blaire-speak for spending time with Andie, Harry, and Lennon. But mostly Harry.

She would swear up and down that I've been in a statistically better mood ever since he came back into my life, though I don't believe her one bit. My attitude is not that fickle that it should change so much by the presence of one person in my life.

Daphne's been super helpful and accommodating to these changes. She claims that both Lennon and Andie have been incredibly well-behaved as of recently, but to tread lightly as we spend more time together because they've begun to assume that they'll have a sleepover every night. Not to mention that ever since we visited Georgie's grave, they've been going around saying they're sisters.

With every fibre of my being, I hope this little rendezvous between Harry and I doesn't end horrendously. If I'm being honest, I wish that this little rendezvous between us would exist throughout the foreseeable future.

That's another aspect of my life that's been falling into place. Hanging with Harry has become a daily ritual.

We have our mornings to ourselves–both of us working, or spending time with our kids one-on-one. In the early afternoon, we meet at the predetermined house of whoever will be hosting, Harry takes the kids to their little league practice, and afterwards, we all come back together and debrief the happenings of our day as a unit as we have dinner, and finish off the day with whatever the girls want to do after we eat.

Do they want to play a game? Do they want to have a Disney Princess Pillow Party? Do they want to play just the two of them? Do they want us to join? Is it a bathnight?

Questions like that usually conclude dinner and we do whatever the general consensus is.

Towards the beginning of this routine, I was worried about Mille. Leaving her alone for extended periods of time is something that's a new occurrence, or at least it has been ever since Harry came back.

The next day, Harry told me to bring Millie over with us, so I did. When we walked in the front door, what was supposed to be a surprise, ended up being spoiled by Lennon.

She cheered, "Daddy got Millie stuff! Daddy got Millie toys! And a bed! And it's more toys!"

We'd barely been in the house for fifteen seconds when her excitement got the better of her. Harry playfully teased her, claiming that it was supposed to be a secret.

Still, upon knowing this information, when I rounded the corner and saw a bag of her dog food in the kitchen, coupled with food and water bowls, a bed in the living room, along with a nice selection of toys, I couldn't help but feel like maybe this whatever-this-is between us could last.

Once we're done with our nightly activity, we get our girls ready for bed, and put them down. At Harry's, they have their own beds because Lennon has a pull out mattress underneath hers, but at mine, I offered to buy a mattress for Lennon, but her and Andie insisted that they liked "sleeping over in the same bed."