"and i hate to make this all about me
but who am i supposed to talk to?
what am i supposed to do
if there's no you?
this won't go back to normal, if it ever was
it's been years of hoping, and i keep saying it because
'cause i have to
[...]
you'll get better soon
'cause you have to"
*tw: mentions of death; depictions of grief, also this chapter is probably the one i'm the most proud of. please be kind to her and give her all the love you can spare.*
Nadine.
"Mama, do we have to?" Andie whines, pulling the tight collar of her black dress away from her neck.
"Careful, my sweet, you're going to stretch it out." I gently place my hand on her shoulder and she stops. "Come on, we're seeing Aunt Georgie."
I straighten the black dress on my body, fixing it just right. I opted for no makeup today, seeing as every other time I've visited her I come back with streaks on my face.
One day I'll be able to visit her without crying, without reliving the pain, grief, and sorrow that still feels just as strong as it did the first time around. One day. Just not today.
Today is a special day. Not the good kind of special, actually it's quite the opposite.
Contrary to what my parents might think, I never visit Georgie's grave on the anniversary of her death. For me, that's still too much. Rather, I take Andie with me and we go to her grave on the anniversary of her diagnosis–her birthday.
I remember the day vividly. The air was cold, not the all encompassing, eye-watering cold, but the kind of cold that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up when the wind brushed passed. The kind of cold that made your nose red and run, but not unbearably so.
The ground was wet, as was pretty much everything because it had been raining steadily the past couple days.
She'd been out late the night before with friends. I usually hosted a birthday breakfast for her, so she was on her way to my house, which, at the time, I shared with Finn.
While on the way, her car spun out and she was hit by another car. She was fine for the most part, aside from a broken leg and a slight concussion. The collision totaled her car though, she was upset about that.
Because it was a rather forceful hit, they wanted to have a full body scan. That's when things started to turn for the worse.
Everything was fine with her, aside from what they'd already treated, but the doctor saw a lump, or a cyst, on one of her ovaries. A pretty large one at that.
They said they could do a minimally invasive biopsy that day or wait for a later date. Georgie, being the impulsive girl she was, opted for that day.
It wasn't a long procedure, and because we'd already been there for a while they moved her up to the front of the line. About an hour later, we got the results.
Stage 4 Metastatic Ovarian Cancer. Spread to her pancreas and kidney.
On my little sister's birthday, she got the news that she was going to die. I entered the hospital that day, not knowing if she was going to survive, but I left there with the definitive knowledge that she wouldn't.
Stage four ovarian cancer already had a slim survival rate of seventeen percent, but the fact that it was metastatic made it a completely different battle in and of itself. Not to mention, most people who receive a stage four ovarian cancer diagnosis don't survive longer than a year afterwards.
YOU ARE READING
the story of us |h.s.|
Fanfictionsingle mother nadine huron has lived in holmes chapel, cheshire all her life. it wasn't supposed to be like that, but when she found out she was pregnant, there was no reason for her to leave. she's spent the last four years busting her ass to give...
