XVII : "OUT OF LOVE"

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I can't float in an ocean
That's already been drained
I won't cry at your feet now
I know my tears will fall in vain

There's not a thing I could say
Not a song I could sing
For your mind to change
Nothing can fill up the space
Won't ask you to stay
But let me ask you one thing

- Alessia cara

Jennie's POV

I woke up feeling physically and emotionally tired. The last thing I remember last night was leaving with Jiyoung after waiting for Lisa to come down from her unit.

My tears automatically fall by just thinking of her. *sob*

No Jennie, its still early to give up. You need to prove her that you deserve a second chance.

I calmed myself and thinking that all will be alright. I need to talk to her again and prove her that I'm the only one for her...

And NO ONE ELSE.

*knock knock*

"Come in.." I said  while wiping my tears

"Good morning sweetie..how are you feeling?" Mom asked and walking towards my bed.

Maybe I should tell my mom first, I know she will understand me...

"I'm fine mom.." I said and smile faintly

"You know, you can talk to me... about amything."

"Mom, I'm g-- I'm good" I want to confess to my mom but the word is not coming out..

Fvck. Coward.

"Okay, ahmmm Breakfast is ready just go downstairs." Mom said and kissed my forehead.

My hands were fidgeting under the sheets. I have to be brave... or I'll lose the chance. I'm gonna tell my parents later... about me and Lisa.

She look back at me before closing the doors.

After my mom leaves, I feel frustrated and shout on my pillow.

I've got to tell them now when I still have a chance.. it's now or never.

-

At the dining room, I saw Jiyoung having breakfast with my dad.

I walk towards them with a questioning look to Jiyoung. What the hell are you doing here?

"Good morning Princess." He said and smiled

"Jennie, please sit beside Jiyoung." My dad commanded.

I composed myself and sigh deeply after I settle down beside Jiyoung.

"Alright, since you're here... we we're talking about your graduation and announcement of your engagement..."
I cut off my dad from talking after I hear the 'engagement word'

"WHAT THE H-- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT DAD?!" I stand up and slam my both hands on the table.

I don't care if I'm being rude but it's my freedom they are talking about. LIKE WHAT THE F!

"Jennie, Calm down and have some respect with your father.." mom said

"Calm down?! Did you even think of what I would feel?" I'm on the verge of crying. I can't believe what's happening right now.
I can't even fix my relationship with Lisa, and now they want me to marry Jiyoung.

"This is for you own good Jennie..." Dad explained

"For my own good? Or maybe for your companies own good?! I'm not gonna marry Jiyoung because I love someone else."

I look at Jiyoung and he's just silent beside me.

"And who would that be? Is that someone worth it" My dad challenge me like he knows something.

I think this is the right time...

"Her name is Lisa and she's the most worthy person to love...Yes dad, I'm gay and If I'm gonna marry someone. It's HER."
I bravely said and finally walking out of the dining room and walk back to my room.

I can hear that my mom is calling me but all I care about is to fix things with Lisa.

I walk up in my room to change and get my car keys. I drive at Lisa's Unit.

"Hello, I'm here to visit Lalisa Manoban's Unit, may I know her unit's number?" I asked politely to the receptionist.

"Hi, sorry ma'am. But the Lalisa you've been looking for just leave a moments ago."

I was speechless for a moment then she talk again.

"Does she say where is she going?"

"No ma'am, but her fiancée said they're going home."

Fiancée?

At that moment I feel like my knees is shaking.

No, please. Lisa. Why?

---

Lisa's POV

Yesterday was Jennie's birthday and it got messier.

My life got messy since the day My dad's company declare bankruptcy and  it got more fvck up when me and my mom fly back to Thailand, I thought we were just having vacation there for a few weeks but guess what?

They set me up with someone else's daughter. My dad persuade my mom to marry someone so we could save our family name. Well I guess I'm really an illegitimate child, cause it's easy for him to use me like a bandaid to seal his own sh*t.

And after that bomb there's Mr. Kim, Jennie's dad who threatened me to stay away from his daughter. I'm so f*cking done with my family problem, done with hiding my feelings, with everything!
I don't know what to do anymore, I feel empty that day.

I just let them dictate my life cause I feel lile that would be easy and everyone's going to be happy, except for me.

So I finally decided to fly back here to Seoul for Jennie's Birthday and clear things with her. The night I showed up at her party, I was ready to break up and then leave without turning back.
.
.
.
Butthat didn't happen, the moment we looked at each others eyes, I feel the butterflies and rainbows inside me. It wasn't empty anymore, it was full and it gives back life to my whole being.

And suddenly I was hit by the reality when I saw her dad...so I asked her to show me how much she loves me in front of everyone, that was my last sign if we were meant for each other. And I know you know what happened that night, I ran outside when I still saw fears in her eyes.

I know she was her last night, down the lobby of my unit's building, when I decided to face her and say my goodbye and everything, its like a cliché movie to run after her car.

I guess that's the end of us.

"Lis...it's time." the woman call out for me to board our flight going back to Thailand.

"Oh sorry, okay let's go home." I said and smile at her.

I know it will a long process and will hurt me to move on from my first love.

Goodbye Jennie Kim.

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