Session 36

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They were all waiting for her once she was discharged from the hospital. After a month and a half of recovery, Quinn had finally healed. But as relieved as she was to be back on her feet again, her body was still mentally recovering. Accepting the fact that she had almost died that day was incredibly hard to stomach; literally. Life wasn't going to be as easy as it was before, but Quinn knew that the support from her friends, and weekly visits to a psychiatrist were going to help her through the grueling recovery process.

Although Quinn had plenty of support, the first few days back to normal life were rocky to say the least. Her near death experience was traumatic, and even though Quinn, in the eyes of her colleagues, friends, and business partners, was a resilient woman, her mannerisms, daily activities, and overall outlook on life, had shifted.

For the first few months after returning, Quinn avoided bars. She requested extra security for her building, and she kept Sophie's and Spike's number on speed dial. She avoided working ridiculously late into the night, and she made sure she never traveled alone. Her lifestyle changes, although not excessive, were enough to be noticed by her coworkers, who, most likely due to Sophie's word, never asked any questions. This comforted Quinn. She didn't want any prying eyes to see her life outside of the workplace. After Mack, her life was on display enough anyways, and she didn't want any more unnecessary publicity.

Although her behavior change was somewhat drastic, after months of this practice, Quinn eventually began to relax. She remained cautious of course, but she began working late again, and she began going out at night. The only thing she opted to continue practicing was the fact that she was almost never alone. She never went out for drinks on her own, and she made sure there was always extra security wandering around the floor of her office building.

Needles to say, returning to normal life was hard for Quinn, and even though she was adapting quite well, and it was getting easier with each passing day, there was always something at the back of her mind that was stopping her from fully reaching her goal. There was a pressing fact that her life was never truly going to be normal, and unfortunately this fact stemmed from the existence of her star-crossed lover, Spike Spiegel.

Vicious, as estranged and manipulative as he was, had said some valuable things to her when she was being held captive. Spike was an outcast. He was dangerous, a thrill seeker, and an adrenaline junky to no end. His lifestyle was so different from Quinn's, and although he was a good man at heart, Quinn worried that he might be a threat to her safety.

As the months passed by, Quinn tried her best not to think about it. She didn't want Vicious to be right, but she was terrified that he was.

It was hard not to take what he had said into account, considering she often spent nights alone, wide awake, staring at her ceiling with her cellphone laying on her chest, waiting for Spike to get back to her after his never ending string of bounty hunts. Typically, she'd get a text before one in the morning, but oftentimes, it was later. She hated the feeling she felt when she'd fall asleep without confirmation of his safety, and she hated it even more when Spike forgot to send her an I'm home safe text. Spike had made it clear that his job was dangerous, and Quinn either had to accept that fact, or leave him behind.

Quinn was caught in the middle of a war between her heart and her mind. As much as she hated how she felt all the time, she had lost Spike far too many times, and she wasn't about to lose him again. She didn't want to let him go, even though she worried about him constantly. Even when they went on dates, which thankfully, were quite frequent, she always stressed about his new cuts and bruises. To make matters worse, every so often their dates would occur in a hospital room.

He was a mess, and it made Quinn horribly afraid of her future with him. But for some reason, despite his flaws, and the emotional turmoil she was forced to endure, Quinn was beyond smitten. Although the sleepless nights were horrendous, she was happy she at least had someone to worry about, and as gross as the hospital dates were, she loved taking care of him. She loved how spontaneous he was, and how he never seemed to value the material things in life. He wasn't judgmental, he wasn't afraid to be himself, and most of all, Quinn loved the fact that he seemed to hate everyone else except for her. Of course he had a soft spot for Jet and Faye, but he didn't express the same emotions with them as he did with her. Quinn felt special, and Spike made her feel important.

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