I Could Die Right Now .

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Chapter Thirty Seven <3

        Finally back home! We were already off the plane and back home . We walked in the door and Carter came running up to us , as usual . He jumped on Harry first and Harry handed him back to me .

"Hey Boo ." I said trying to smile but the headache took over all my power .

"Woah! What are those!?" He asked pointing to my mouth .

"Braces ." I simply said .

"Why did you get those?"

"Like i told you before . If you suck your thumb , Youll have to get these when your older . And they hurt ." I said with a real smile this time .

"Ew . I dont want those ." 

"No body does ." I said as i sat him down and went upstairs . I alowly walked to mine and Harry's room as i crawled in bed .

"Eh! They feel just as bad as cramps!" I screamed into the pillow .

"Whats wrong babe?" A firmiliar voice said . I got up and turned around to see Niall standing in the door way .

"How could you deal with this!?" I said as i gave him a hug .

"I had mine for 3 years ." He said as he rolled his tungue when he said 'Three' .  

"So . I had mine for .. Uh ... Like half a year three years ago . Same thing ." I said as i earned a smile .

"Youll get used to it . It gets better later on ." And with that he walked away and i plopped in bed till i fell asleep .

***

"MOM!" Someone shouted . I opened my eyes and saw Louis jumping up and down infront of my bed .

"Louis . Please ." I said as his loud voice made me have a head ache .

"Whats wrong love?"

"This is what wrong ." I said as i fake smiled so he could see my braces .

"I thought you already got them ?" .. Smh .

"Yea i did but i needed them again ." I said as i got out of bed .

"Im Sorry ." He whispered .

"Why are you whispereing?" I asked turning back around .

"Because i know you feel bad ." He whispered back .

"Aw I Love you ." I said as i gave him a hug and walked back down stairs . 

"Morning love ." Harry shouted as he heard me walk down stairs .

"Hush!" I shouted back as i slowly walked to the couch and burried my head in the cousion .

"Head ache?" He asked softer .

"Yea ." I Mumbled in the cousin . I heard his phone go off and he looked scared .

"Uh . I got to go ." He mumbled as he walked out the door nurvously .

"Where ya going?" I asked lifting my head up .

"Uh .. Yea .. Uhmm .. To meet Niall some where ." He stuttered . Something was going on and i was going to find out . I got up and texted Hannah off of Louis phone . I saw they were texting earlier and i started to go through them . 

Hannah: Hey Louis

Louis: Hey love

Hannah: Can i tell you something and you cant tell Taylor or anyone else?

Louis: Why cant i tell Taylor?

Hannah: Just promise me .

Louis: I Guess .

Hannah: Im Dating Harry behind her back .

 And after that message he hasnt replied . I was furious . I called Harry up and couldnt help but just through things and hit things . He didnt answer and i threw Louis phone down on the couch . 

"Woah whats going on!?" Louis rushed down the stairs .

"You . You were the one to blame too!" I shouted picking up a fork and throwing it at him . He looked shocked and ducked , missing the hit .

"What are you tlaking about ." 

"You knew Hannah and Harry were dating behind my back! You knew it! And you wouldnt tell me! How could you?" I whispered the last part . He looked stunned .

"I-i ." 

"No save it for later when you wont ever fucking see me again ." Did i really just cuss? Oh no .

"What are you doing?" He asked as i grabbed a knife .

"You wanna see what it feels like? It feels like this!" I said as i started to cut down my arm . 

"Taylor!" He shouted and ran over to me . I stopped and fell to the ground as i let a tear fall . No i have to suck it up . 

"What the hell were you thinking!?" He said running over to me .

"Get away from me!" I screamed as loud as i could without my jaw hurting . He backed away and sent a quick text . A few minutes later Niall , Zayn , And Liam burst through the door . They all came running over as they all bent down next to me . I cant believe i let Harry back into my life . I should have known this was going to happen . I was sitting on the floor , blood going everywhere , just curld up in a ball . 

"Niall ." I said not looking up . 

"Yea Love?" He asked .

"I need you ." I said looking up as my face was bloos shot and wet from tears . He grabbed my hand that wasnt cut and took me up stairs to once called 'Our' Bedroom .

"Why did you do this love?" He asked . Niall was the only one i could talk to personally . Knowing he knew me since i was a kid .

"Harry . Its all Harry , Louis and Hannah's Fault . I said sucking ti up like i didnt care . But i really did care .

"What did they do?" He asked sitting us down on 'Our' (Mine and Harry's) Bed . 

"Harry's cheating on me with my best friend . And Louis knew and he never told me . I have lost all my trust in everyone . Excpet you ." I said as i wrapped my arms around him . 

"Im so Sorry ." 

"No . A Promise Means Everything but when its broken , Sorry means nothing ." I said as i sucked it up and went down stari to see Harry standing next to Louis worried as Louis was talking to him about it . They looked around and i saw Harry's face as red as could be . He walked up to me and opened his mouth to say something .

"Dont , Save it . Youll need to ." I said walking away . I walked up to Liam and whispered into his ear .

"Are you dating Danielle?"

"No?" He whispered back as i grabbed his face and brought it to mine . He wrapped his arms around my waist and smiled into the kiss like he was waiting for that all his life . When i kissed him it had no sparks . It felt plain . Nothing like me and Harry's kisses . Not at all . I pulled back with tears as i turned around to Harry .

"Thats how i feel . " I said as his face had anger , sadness , depression and every emotion in it you could think of . I walked off up to , used to be , mine and Harry's room as i dug myself into our bed . I know what your thinking . I Should leave but when you love someone that much , you dont want to leave . If i leave it will feel like he took a chunk out of my heart and i will never feel the same again . I layed down and started to listen what was going on down stairs . I heard yell's . scream's , thing's being breaken , bang's , everything . I felt bad . I dont know why i felt bad but i did . It was really Harry's fault but i feel like its all mine . What do i do now?

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