Until forever ends

Twenty six

Jayden starts opening up again bit by bit. But he still hasn't left the house. He finally started cleaning out his room and started eating dinner with his dad again. He is taking small steps but he might actually slowly with time return to his old self. Before all of this. And I will always be here for him if he needs someone. When he's ready I want to discuss the topic of therapy with him. To maybe help him get more closure if he needs to. Or if he wants to. I'm not going to force him to see a shrink. "What you thinking about?" He asks me after I realise I had been staring off into nothing. "Oh nothing interesting." "You sure?" "Yeah. I'm proud of you Jay. You know that right?" "Yeah, I know." He kisses my forehead. "Let's bake pancakes." "What? It's afternoon?" "I suddenly and very spontaneously crave pancakes. Will you bake them with me? Pretty please?" "What the hell why not." So we spend the next thirty minutes baking and eating. Jay laughs but it isn't his laugh. The one I could get drunk on. It's a bit too loud and it sounds fake. As if he's trying to hide something. "It's good weather. Shall we go for a walk?" I propose it. "Okay. But can we avoid busy places like downtown. I don't want to see anyone or well big crowds of people." He actually sound like he is panicking. "Okay I promise. We will stay close here." "Thank you." It's like Jayden is turning into a shell or maybe even an imposter. I recognise parts of him but also he is a different person. He hasn't been the same. And I don't know how to get him back. Maybe I should learn to accept that the boy I once loved has turned into a different man. We put our shoes on and walk out onto the street. Jayden flinches with his eyes away from the sun. I know he hadn't been out in the sun much but this. It's like he has been outside for the first time ever. "You alright there?" "Yeah. Yeah I'm fine." "You sure? You don't look completely fine." "Don't worry babe. I am perfectly fine." He loops his arm through mine and we walk for a bit. Not even on a high tempo just relaxed. If I wasn't so worried about Jay. I have a feeling he tries to come over as he is dealing well but it's a bit too fake. Like he doesn't want me to worry about him. Which makes me worry even more. "You have been with me for a week. Babe I am perfectly fine. Go home tonight and take care of yourself." "No, it's fine. I can stay with you." "You should go home. We will be fine. I promise." He says it while unlocking the door. "If you insist. You can always call me." "I know. But first, we're going upstairs. And you're staying for dinner." "Alright." We rush upstairs and Jay pushes me down on the bed.

He starts kissing me and takes my shirt off. I rest my palm on his chest. "Are you sure?" "I missed this baby. Please. Let me make you feel good as a thank you." He kisses my shoulder and trails down in between my breasts. With one movement he takes my bra off. "I love you." He murmurs it in between kisses. His hand moves over my stomach. His a bit too long brown hair falls for his eyes. His mouth moves over my stomach down to my jeans. He takes them off and softly slips my fishnets also off. He starts leaving hickeys on my thighs before he throws my legs over his shoulder. With his first lick I throw my head back and close my eyes. But instead of continuing he stops to talk. "Hmm. How about we make this interesting huh? Pretty baby." He drops my legs softly again and fishes something up from the bed. "Keep your eyes closed." He puts one hand around my throat while putting one side of the handcuff around the bedframe and the other one around me. He puts a bit of pressure on the hand around my throat and kisses me. Pleasure filling his eyes while he smirks and moves down again. This time getting on his knees before me and using his tongue. All I can do is breath heavier and heavier. Grunts come from me which he takes as a sign to continue further. He adds his fingers. "Hmm, you like that baby. Does it make you feel good princess." I answer him with moans. The anxious person he was before is gone. He grew confident and overpowering. I can't help anything and just let him. I feel pressure building up and squirm away. Or try to move away. He smacks my hips. "Lay still princess." He says it before getting me over the edge. My breath tries to catch up with me thinking he just wanted to do that. But he starts undressing and looks at my confused expression. "Oh I'm not done with you." He sits in front of me and pulls my legs over his hips. He doesn't even remove the cuff before he puts himself inside of me. He moves his body with mine until he makes me come again. He pulls out after and uncuffs me. His fingers move over my shoulders. I'm laying on my side and he holds me down. "Your fucked out face is so pretty." Jay kisses my forehead and lays with me

Dinner was fine, we ordered food and watched a movie. Tyler and Thomas also joined for dinner. It was nice to see those two again. Tyler already left again when Jayden decided to drive me home. "Does your mum think it's okay if I stay for a drink?" "I don't think she would mind. Thanks for driving me home." "Of course. Come on in." I unlock the door and walk straight up stairs to put my bag down. My room hasn't changed a bit in the week I was gone. I go back down the stairs and find Jay in the kitchen with my mum. "I won't be staying long but I just wanted to thank you for everything you did." "Of course, Jay." She also pours me a drink and I sit down with them. We have a short conversation and after that Jay leaves to head back home. I go up the stairs and straight to bed. I'm exhausted after today. I mean who wouldn't be. Jay showed me he was still in there somewhere. Regardless if it only showed during sex. I close my eyes and go to sleep with a smile on my face.