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Chapter 10 - The Past, Two Black Spots, The Second (Kaden POV)

A/N: NOT EDITED.

Chapter 10 – The Past, Two Black Spots, The Second (Kaden POV)

I sit back unseeing, the two images burned to my memory now, there was no way these two children weren’t our children – our children. The thought left me reeling and while I had questions I couldn’t go past anything – I was drowning right now.

“Are you upset?” Etta’s lovely voice cuts through the clouds and walls building up rapidly at the moment, snapping my head to the side, her swollen face focused on mine. “Do… I have… the right to be?” I stuttered out. Unsure, this – all of this was my fault. I was unable to remember what happened between Etta and I, but obviously I was the older of the two of us back when we were together. I was the one that hurt her, those words coming from John, words I said earlier to her, I couldn’t remember but I know that it may have come as a shock.

I know it would have been hurtful, because I saw that picture, I saw the love in my eyes for her, that was reflected right back to me.

Her eyes cloud over, welling with tears, before she looks away looking at John and Sean, the two of them keeping their eyes away from Etta and I, giving us space without really leaving the room. “What next?” Etta said looking away from me. Heart racing I couldn’t – she just – why didn’t she say something to me? Anything? “Are they mine?” I ask monotone and everyone in the room snapped their heads to me, Sean and John, the picture of disbelief.

Etta’s butterscotch, eyes shine with hurt, blinking I shaking my head when I realize just how that sounded to them, “I mean Coco and Kiki? Are they mine?”

Sean and John flick their eyes away from me, but Etta holds my stare and I see something in her that I have never seen before. “No, they are Reese’s…” she says with a bit of attitude, anger in her eyes, burning, directed solely at me.

“I – you knew who I was,” I murmur nodding, “Can you be honest about – about anything?” I spit the hold I have on my anger fading repeatedly.

It’s the wrong reaction; I know milliseconds after the words are out.

“Honest?” She spits.

“You…. Want to talk to me about being honest Kaden? Reese?” a single finger pointed at me.

“You just can’t remember all your lies… should I count them out for you?” Etta comes closer to me, “First, you befriend me out of pity,” the words spat make my heart ache, but worse is the brokenness I see in her eyes, “Then I stay away, you remember what you’ve done to me and you approach me not as Kaden, but as Reese!” my eyes widen and dart over to John who nods shamefaced.

“You knew I wouldn’t want to touch you with a damn ten feet pole! You. Knew.” Her head shakes and eyes well up.

I close my eyes shaking my head, because I’m beginning to see what happened here, the pieces are falling into place. She loved me as Kaden, and I made her love me as Reese, Etta’s loved the same man, twice.

Sighing, “I’m – this is my fault, I’m sorry, Etta,” her eyes don’t let me off the hook, layers of hurt revealed to me just now, a frown on her lips. Taking a step back in my mind, I shake my head, “This isn’t – the kids,” the words whispered. She was right about who was being honest; I couldn’t remember anything at the moment, and my anger towards those that hurt me and myself weren’t useful right now.

Kiki and Coco, these two children here, just a bit bigger than Vivian and Myles, were mine, whatever I had suffered, Etta had as well, and yet still she wanted me. The thought left me staggering for a moment, I didn’t remember all the hurt and pain, I had lost memories of love and adoration, but Etta, she hadn’t.

Inside her wonderful heart, held the hurt I caused her as well as the love I brought her, she wanted me then, before and now, the good with the bad. She had made her peace with whom I was, ‘you’re here.’

Regardless of everything, above all, she wanted me with her and that thought, that piece of information, settled inside my cold heart, a place I had let nothing in for a long time.

I had so much to make up for, mistakes I made that I couldn’t remember, and a small part of my mind was telling me, screaming now, trying to get through and have me understand that Etta, was giving me another chance, she was putting everything else behind us, and opening herself to me once again.

Standing I went to stand right in front of her, and as though I was seeing who she was for the first time all over again, my heart swelled with an unfamiliar emotion, feeling, “I know – words aren’t enough right now they never will be Etta, but thank you, for this chance,” I said with as much conviction as I could. I was still unsure about how we came to be when I was Reese, that portion of time just blackness in my mind, but I knew who I was when I was that man. Coldhearted, uncaring and determined, as ruthless as ever until I got what I wanted, and if that was Etta, I don’t think she ever stood a chance.

Searching my eyes she stood in front of me, just gazing, her own eyes red, swollen, her face splotchy she nodded slowly, giving me a half timid smile. “What are their names?” I ask making her blink in confusion.

“Not those,” I point to the screen behind her, “Kiki and Coco?”

She forces out a chuckle, “Reese and Morgan.”

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Hi, so I know this is short but I am so distracted at the moment, this is really TMI but I'm getting my first Pap smear test on Friday and I'm beyond worried. The whole thing is just a bit daunting and I'm probably worried for nothing... But as I'm typing its ALL I can think about... Anyways, I'll try to type more, but I'm so distracted.

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