Change of Heart - A Cahir X Reader story

Chapter 6 - Unknown feelings

Cahir POV:

I didn't know how to describe it. The feeling of being able to talk to somebody about what I felt was just amazing. As a knight you're told that you're feelings don't matter at all. You just do what you have to do. But talking to this beautiful and special girl just felt so liberating. She just listened and didn't judge me for what I told her. I really liked her, I wanted to have her around all day long. It started when I was riding through the region with some other knights and soldiers to watch the villages. There I saw her with a little kid, now I knew that this was her sister, and immediately knew that she was somehow special. When we had to attack the village, for whatever reason, I didn't even know, I felt so sorry. I knew that we destroyed everything they had,but what should I have done? I was commanded to decide what to do with the people we captured. I didn't want to kill any of them, too afraid that she would loathe me or think I was a monster. That was why I ordered to set her free. I just wanted her to be able to live again but she couldn't go anywhere. I was sorry that she had to stay here, but at the same time, I was so fucking glad that now I woke up next to her, ate with her and got to know her. I didn't know that feeling when I was around her, when I saw her and especially when I saw her looking at me, but what I knew was that I never again wanted to feel something else.

She slowly seemed to get along in this fort, to accept that this was her new home, she even seemed to not hate me anymore. Now she learned how to be a healer. She told me that she already knew things, she always had to take care of her family when they were sick or wounded. Anyways, she didn't know everything yet, so she spent her day learning more while I was, again, training the new recruits.

This was exhausting work, one of them accidentally cut himself while holding the sword, so I had to get him one made out of wood to use for practise. Two of the others were too afraid to hold their swords in the first place, so they needed these special swords as well. Normally, these swords were used for children, but I had no other option than giving these swords to them.

During all of the training, I had one problem bigger than these recruits though, I didn't get the previous night out of my head. Everything we had talked about, the way she said my name, everything she now knew about me and everything I knew about her. Like that she never really got along with her family, she loved them, but preferred to be away from them. The only person that she had no problem with was her sister, she was also the one person she missed all the time.

The thought of her kept distracting me, my mind constantly drifting off to her eyes, her hair, her face, her voice. I became inattentive, which was my own mistake. I tried showing the recruits some simple techniques and accidentally cut off the head of one of the practise dolls. This went to the point where I wanted the recruits to fight me, one by one. They were supposed to learn how to attack, I was supposed to just duck and to block their attacks but I got distracted again and suddenly felt my leg being cut by that one recruit that didn't use a wooden sword.